Looking forward

(Afraid of looking back)

In less than four hours, I will graduate high school. After four years of cramming for exams at 1:00 AM, making it to school thirty seconds before the first bell rings, and dozing off during math, I have made it. Ever since freshman year, I have anticipated my emancipation from the shackles that is obligatory secondary education. But something about it also scares me. I will never again walk the hallways of Hinsdale Central ever again as a student. I will never again see many of the students and faculty members ever again. I will never again be able to chant “Seniors, Seniors!” at a Pep Rally. Gosh, there are a lot of “never agains.” As much as Hinsdale Central is a cage, it is a cage that has sheltered us from the outside world. Now, there is no cage to come back to; we are set free, into the wild unknown.

What is scary about the wild unknown, the real world, well, is the unknown — the uncertainty that lies around every corner along the way. You see, high school, bundled neatly into a rectangularly shaped square building, was pretty well laid out for us. Every day, school starts at 8:00 AM and ends at 3:00 PM. 4 core classes. 2 electives. 1 gym class. A 25 minute lunch break. As repetitive as it was, it was simple and predictable.

For the first time in my life, I am using a planner: Google Calendar. I have planned out my lunch breaks, work times, hangouts, family trips, etc. The explicit reason is that I need to be more organized if I ever want to succeed in college and the real world. The implicit reason is probably my innate desire to retain something from high school, even if it is that regimented lifestyle. Scrolling through the Google Cal, I see a lot of blocks of different sizes and colors. I will be keeping myself busy this summer, to live in the moment and keep moving forward. Because, when I look back, I will surely revel in all the fond memories, but I will also be saddened because I will miss high school.