I’ve deleted and rewritten this about 10 times over; the writing won’t improve I’m sure of that, it’s the message that seems to be tripping me up.
When we reach out for something beyond is it terrifies us. Some of us will avoid the terror. Accept our fate and settle for the house and 2.5 kids. The rest of us, we are the unlucky ones. There’s no ability to retreat, we must terrify ourselves once a day at least. We must try we must succeed we must risk it all and we must avoid, wherever possible, social Nuance.
You find a partner in your 20’s you get married have a house buy a kid, save up for the trip to Disneyland, have a quiet rivalry with number 13 because they just bought triple glazing but you just received a quote for a new garage door, and every one at your 9–5 is great fun. Shanice’s kid is doing well in ballet and Roger is a hard ass but if you have a problem he is a gentle boss. All that is plenty enough for them. A simple mainstream existence. I don’t know about you but I envy and hate that. Id love to wake up and accept my compartmentalized expectations. I’d hate to wake up and not try to be more. I’d love my hobby to be something everyone loves and I hate the idea of my photography being anything other than a life sustaining adventure for the rest of my existence. I wish I didn’t have to be terrified 24/7, that by avoiding the norm I could fail. But I’ve learnt to realise, every scare, every tear, every blank mind moment is what is my normal. I’m blessed that I can imagine bigger, I’m cursed I can’t be happy with the basics, but when I make a sale it reminds me why I should take at least one risk a day.
I’m not an entrepreneur, I’m not a business owner; I’m an adventurer.
No spell check was harmed in the making