14 Ways To KNOW When It’s Time For You Change Something In Your Life
The Art of Self-Change
Changing can be difficult. Habits, behaviors, decisions, and actions are all part of living. We can find ourselves in situations where the things we do start to become an issue, not only for ourselves, but for others. At this point in time we can say to ourselves: It’s time for change.
Prerequisites for change:
Seriously assessing…
Where we’re at.
What we’re doing.
When it’s happening.
Who we’re affecting.
Why we’re doing it.
Knowing we need to change can cause very uncomfortable feelings. Feelings of inadequacy, vulnerability, shame, and more. Change requires responsibility, ownership, action, and followup. It’s much easier to just keeping making excuses, telling ourselves stories, lying, or delaying to making change. But that’s just it…what’s easy isn’t always what’s best for us. Anything worth having in life requires effort, and isn’t easy.
Once we embrace and decide to commit to change, the tide of life begins to change.
We can all find ourselves at different stages of change throughout life. The spectrum can include: thinking about change, making positive change, changing with no results, or changing for the negative.
How to know when it’s time for you to change…
1. When what you once did is no longer serving you, by producing the expected result.
Spinning your wheels. Not seeing results. Noticing a slowing or lack of progress, regressing. You’re doing all you possibly can, but results just aren’t happening.
2. Negatively affects your Health/Wellness.
Energy levels dropping. Negative thoughts creeping in. Irritability. Restlessness. Depression. Anxiety. Frustration. Peace of mind gone. Altered memory. Obsessive thoughts. Mentally frustrated.
3. Negatively affects your Family/Friends.
One may sacrifice quality time with those they care about. Others around them become hurt. Others worry about them. Others warn them of their behavior. Their actions, habits, and decisions affect their relationships.
4. When a habit, decision, action is unsustainable*
*Unsustainable: You simply cannot keep up with this activity, habit, behavior, mindset. It drains you. The pace could be too slow/too fast. It’s not realistic in the long term. It is extreme.
5. Life unexpectedly gives you the opportunity to change in another direction.
Life can sometimes present you with an out from a situation. If you’re given a window of opportunity to change course, it may be the right time to take it. Disappointment can arise when life adds/subtracts from your life but remember…
“When one door closes, another opens.”
6. Life gives you a sign it’s time to change.
Symbols and clues are powerful. Tune your senses into picking up these clues.
Clues can come in the form of simple things: An insightful conversation. Reading a book. Meeting an intriguing person. Hearing and observing nature. Being rejected. Losing money. Getting hurt.
Life can give you signs like a coincidence, a miracle, or an experience that makes you reconsider life altogether.
*TRY: Observe nature. Nature helps ground you and shows you the true essence of life. You can learn many lessons from the Earth.
7. Causes you frustration.
You are frustrated. Life just seems to be off. You know you are not acting like your ideal self. You are out of balance. Life is chaotic. Life is unstable. Ups & Downs. Roller coaster. Homeostasis is off.
8. When a habit, behavior, or action dominates your thoughts.
Your thoughts may be dominated by that something or someone. It may be all you think about. You may be physically present, but not mentally present. You mind is elsewhere, and are gone even when you are around.
9. When others notice negative change(s) in you.
People start staring. Commenting. Showing concern. Distancing themselves from you.
10. Negatively affects your values/beliefs.
You may notice drastic changes in what you will/won’t do. You don’t stand for anything anymore. Your stretch your own boundaries. You start saying “Yes”to things you usually say “No” to. You agree/disagree with things you don’t truly believe in.
11. When you lose sense of WHO you are.
Your sense of purpose is lost. You don’t recognize yourself. You don’t care about anything anymore. You are self-absorbed. Your life isn’t yours anymore. You’re walking forward, but moving backwards.
12. When you’re ashamed of your actions, behaviors, and habit(s).
Disliking the person you are or becoming. You look down, away, or frown upon what you are doing. You don’t want to tell anyone about what they’re up to. Deep down you are in opposition with yourself. You are conflicted, struggling. You realize help exists, but choose not to accept it.
13. When a habit, action, or behavior becomes boring or old.
Doing something for too long can lead you to become desensitized and burned out. It may be time to just mix things up, ya know?
14. When your self-esteem is lowered.
Your sense of self-worth is one key to well-being and happiness. We must keep our self-esteem high at all times, and at a healthy level. If your sense of worth isn’t preserved, the way you view the world, relationships, and life itself is negatively impacted.
What kinds of change are there?
Positive Change
- Embraces the positive
- Brings a new outlook
- Brings new direction
- Feels exciting
- Has one making progress
When good things happen, some may self-sabotage. Certain individuals reject change when it’s positive. Some tend to quit just before they start to see change and real progress happen. Self-sabotage kicks in because we may not know how to handle this change(s). Insecurities may begin to surface as a result.
Negative Change
- Brings one back into the negative
- Clouds the thoughts
- Subtracts more than it adds
- Has one feeling worse than before
- Brings one away from their dreams/goals
- Causes a lack of progress
A change is positive if it…
-Improves the quality of your life
-Intuitively feels good. NOT the “artificial” feel-good
-Is sustainable
-Is noticeable
-Is measurable
-Helps you achieve your goals/dreams
A change is negative if it…
-Doesn’t produce positive outcomes or results
-Causes negativity in your life or others
-Is unsustainable
-Takes away from your life more than it gives
-Consumes the majority of your thoughts
-Pulls you away from WHO you are
Things to Consider With Change
Do I have the resources to change?
Am I capable of making this change?
Can I maintain this change?
Do I have a plan to correct myself if I fall into old ways?
Do I have someone to help me or support me to make this change?
How To Tell If You’ve Changed…
You don’t act the way you used to.
What To Do If You Want To Change…
1. Seek help & Tell someone.
Whether it be professional help and/or help from someone in your personal life. Others can help you with accountability. Resources exist, find them.
When in doubt…talk it out.
2. Re-frame your narrative*
*Narrative: the stories you tell yourself, the beliefs you carry. The way you approach life in general. What you tell others about your life.
3. Admit there is a problem/issue.
You are NOT your problems or issues. Do not identify with them. Separate yourself from the action, behavior, habit. You are a complete human.
You are simply “dealing with”, “handling”, “going through”, “experiencing a challenge” at this point in time.
Change your language. Put yourself in the 3rd person.
4. Think of your future self.
“What would my future self say about my present actions?”
5. Tell yourself this is only temporary.
“This too, shall pass”
6. Visualize the behaviors, habits, or thoughts you want to embody.
See your ideal self, behaviors, actions. Picture the action(s) you need to do in order to be your best self. Imagine what’s needed in order to help you adapt to or make the change. Meditation is one way to visualize positive behaviors.
Visualize what you DO want.
7. Say Positive affirmations
Here’s my blog post on how you can use positive affirmations in a morning ritual. Click below.
8. Take ACTION
DO something about it. Stop thinking and do.
Change can come unexpectedly, in bursts, or even not at all. Sometimes life can force change. Other times it’s up to us to spark our own change. As long as we are moving forward in the right direction with some sort of plan, followed by action to progress in life, we are changing.
Change is normal & natural. Remember, change is always met with resistance.
If you’d like to read more on change & resistance, click on my blog post below:
Individuals Aspiring Mastery & Medium.com/@IAspireMastery.
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