There was a war. I was a soldier in it. Taken from my family at my early 20. Trained, trimmed into a plate of homogenic steel plate. A killing machine.
I’ve seen so much death in those prolonged war. This rifles, bullets, holes, bombs and poison arrows evaporate to spin inside my head as a dusty cloud. Everything it touch fade. I got this lust of blood. Irresistible thirst of enemies blood. I killed too many head i lost the count. I got numbed by every stab i thrust, every shot i make.
It slowly turns into ashes coagulating in my memories. I died.
Suddenly the war stops. Half of my life foraging for enemies flesh turned out not so useful in peace. I have no one to come home to. Those i called brother in arm has died in every possible way you can imagine. Some who survive luckily have someone to rehabilitate them. Getting back to “normal” again. But most of us dont have that kind of luxury, they get theirself dirty in assassin game. Something is wrong with us. Maybe we are just kids lost from our home. The war zone.
I traveled as far as i could from humanity. Saw this job on a notice board somewhere far, a lighthouse keeper. A peaceful job i think, so i took it.
I was right.
I was sent to a remote island given my own house and yard and farm. I was alone in that island. I can grow as many thing, as many animal i please. I spent my day building the house. I keep it clean though no one ever came. The night spent by lurking in a narrow room at the top of the lighthouse. Keeping it lit hoping there is someone saved by it. Hoping for redemption. All is well, loudest sound i can hear now is the ocean breezze. No more airstrike flying above my head.
Then you came.
My food supplies and supervisor came once in six months. This time he let you come along. I met you once at his house before, a blink, nothing more.
It was different here. I got this chance to ask you for a picnic. You are a positively happy person. A trait i can never understand. You are just this bright as the lighthouse light and i’m your shadow.
You said you think you already know me. You think it’s a beautiful island. You will be happy to manage your own island. You smiled to much. Asked if you can stay a couple of day.
“Its againts the law” i said. Only a family could stay.
“Then marry me.” You replied.
That eyes. They are beautiful as you spoke. My heart skipped a beat.
I took a deep breath. Trying to laugh a bit to show you i think that’s a silly idea. You must be crazy to marry me. So i refused. I am just this numb veteran who killed human in cold blood. I am basically a beggar employed to guard a candle. Exile is what i deserve, not you.
“Send me letters”, you said.
“Maybe”, i cant assure you.
But then on your way back i think, a letter wont kill. Yeah unless you got anthrax spores in it.
Maybe we can be a pen pal?