My First Anxiety Attack

Drew Ford
Messy Mind
Published in
8 min readAug 1, 2020

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The day I entered a hidden dungeon

Photo by Nathan Cowley from Pexels

Heart fluttering, palms sweating, and thoughts circulating. These are the beginning stages of an anxiety attack that can come out of nowhere, or might be triggered by a specific event or situation. When reflecting on my first anxiety attack in 2005, I will always thank my lucky stars that I’m still alive today to tell the story.

It was a warm July night, driving home from the KRON news station headquarters in San Francisco, when I began to feel my hands swell up. My forehead sweating profusely while navigating my vehicle from the speed lane, all the way to the exit that led to my parents house. As I sat at that red light, patiently waiting to make a left turn, the waves of death began to fluctuate throughout my body. Starting all the way down from my feet, up through my waist, into my stomach, and clinging to my chest, like an immovable force.

“Am I dying?”

Three simple words continuously running through my mind like a broken record, as I sheepishly made the left turn, heading for home.

Why was this happening to me? I was 23 years old, in great shape, pretty much a model of health, thoroughly happy and satisfied with the life I was leading. I had recently moved back in with my parents after four years living in the Park Merced Apartments, while attending San…

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Drew Ford
Messy Mind

12-year middle school teacher and new administrator in the Bay Area. An immense believer in the power of confidence. My message is clear: Invest in yourself!