LETTER TO A SPOUSE
Dear Spouse,
I start out to share with you insights about keeping a happy marriage. It’s pertinent to discuss this because we live in a time of flamboyant wedding and sorrowful matrimony. Let me share this factual apothegm: "Marriage is not a fairy tale where you live happily ever after; you can only find that in tales from Disneyland". It takes two to tango in any successful relationship, therefore both parties must be committed, willing to make sacrifices and compromise if need be for the relationship to thrive. The more you put into your relationship, the more you get out of it.
Husbands often get it wrong thinking that money is the intrinsic thing that keeps marriage going. So they take all the time digging it hard without creating time for the wife and kids. No doubt money is an essential ingredient, but it can’t buy you happiness. You need to strike a balance by investing ample time for your family. Ian Seymour once said: "It’s good to be able to afford the things money can buy but only if it doesn’t cost us the things money can’t buy". The more you put into your relationship, the more you get out of it.
Without doubt, communication is one of the most important tools in keeping a marriage working. Women need someone to talk to: share their aspirations, comfort their sorrows and even reassure them of the love commitment made some years ago. At times, a listening ear is all they crave for, not even money or physical attraction. There's need for both parties to sit and discuss heart-to-heart, analyze situations, plan for the future and right the wrongs. Don't be proud to say 'I'm sorry but be proud to say 'I love you'. The more you put into your relationship, the more you get out of it.
There's this saying that: "the grass is always green on the other side". But in the real sense, the grass is greener wherever it's been cared for. This calls for caution that marriage shouldn't be an affair for comparison, others also have their downsides and uptimes. Caring for each other is one of those things that keeps the love flame glowing. Show affection to one another and throw yourselves surprises with big treats. Wives often love to be wowed especially with unsolicited gifts. The more you put into your relationship, the more you get out of it.
One of the ways to a man's heart is through his gut, so get him sumptuous dishes and appetizers to keep him longing. There's really nothing wrong for husbands to help their wives with house cores. In-fact, women love it so much when you serve them breakfast in bed. Remember marriage is a 'master-slave' relationship. Either parties could be the master at times and slave at other times. Apply this principle quite often and you'd see the beauty in it. The more you put into your relationship, the more you get out of it.
It's amazing to know how skillful and hardworking women are, they're the super-heros of our homes. Mothers, housekeepers, baby sitters, cooks, teachers, lovers and even professionals - they're women of honour so they deserve to be pampered and never abused. Get to think of all the good works they do to keep things going and they never get tired. Husbands need to appreciate these efforts, give a helping hand and protect their rights without they asking for it. Remember, the more you put into your relationship, the more you get out of it.
Wives should know that husbands have their ego and self esteem - that's natural. They love to be respected and admired, on the other hand they also have to be responsible, up and doing. Hence, a woman should appreciate every effort a man puts in place to make ends meet. Only with time will the good become better and better turns best. The more you put into your relationship, the more you get out of it.
Patience is the lubricant that keeps marriage rolling. Seek to understand before been understood, give each other excuses and not hasty conclusions. The parable of a woman is like that of an egg: if you squeeze it so tight it gets broken and if you let it loose the same happens. Hence, be not hard upon your wife for she may not withstand it and being too loose may expose her to laxity - so chart the middle course in dealing with her. Be quiet and calm when arguments arises, for arguing with a woman is like being arrested: everything you say can be used against you. Above all, do not loose your head even if she's loosing hers. The more you put into your relationship, the more you get out of it.
Always remembered to put prayers in your marriage as that's one secret that keeps it going. Having said this all, I trust that you will put your partner in the right perspective and enjoy the love sojourn of a happy matrimony together. And remember: the more you put into your relationship, the more you get out of it. May God bless your marriage and life in entirety.
Yours cordially,
DhunNurayn ElShabazz
