Diabetic Cyborg Life: Conversation On YouTube and a “Pivot Point”

Adam, Diabetic Cyborg
Mar 24 · 5 min read

A conversation I had with Ash Claise about mental illness on YouTube made me realize I want to take a further detour on mental health and illness. The stigma that society has toward those of us that have mental and physical health issues is so wrong. The whole “suck it up” tough person act is old. That behavior trains us to “mask,” credit Ash for that term, or hide our issues from childhood …

Shot of our exchange on YouTube.

The mental issues that act creates in developing children and adults makes people have more issues than they might if they did not have to hide them. No, that does not make the physical health problems worse, but it does make us feel guilty for not being able to contribute to society and our families. We did not choose to have health issues, so we cannot be held responsible for our illnesses no more than your accountability for your eye color.

You might really want to have blue eyes, but all you can do is wear contacts for questionable results. Similarly, we have problems with our mental and physical health and we take medication to control out disorders. The contacts not so good resulting eyes color is also sometimes just like out meds that result in sometime problematic outcomes. This might be a great analogy, but, hey, comment back with a better one if you got one in mind. Sometimes, yes, the contacts and meds might do as they are supposed to and we can cope with life much better than without, but then there are the times that they don’t.

Those kinds of things not going as thought can range from simply not having affect at all to total or partial psychosocial disassociation or allergic reactions. Those adverse states can result in hospitalization and emergency situations. See my past reactions to adderallfor psychosocial disassociation or Carbamazepine that resulted in severe edema. Both cases resulted in trips to the ER and a hospital stay. I was in the intensive care unit for a night with the edema since I was close to dying because I had so littler salt in my blood.

All this analysis of health disorders is something that we need to explain and talk more in public discussions. The sigma of “something being wrong with us” is degrading and dehumanizing. We must strive to be better at empathizing with one another on a personal one-on-one level. Failure to understand the daily struggles of everyone must be the new reality that we make. The unreasonable expectations acting “normal” when we certainly are irregular is just wrong.


We are not at fault, and society’s lack of acceptance of people born with inherited traits and diseases of the body and mind needs addressing. This issue is something we all hope that the new generation of seemingly more accepting people can tolerate better than the last. The embracing of people with afflictions already feels lonely in life as they are now, and need the humanity of people to heal their issues. The embracing of the masses can for make all the difference and save lives. The simple act of accepting them as they and not demanding they meet an impossible standard “normality” is needed to help millions heal.

Yes, I get that I sound like “Captain Oblivious” here, or at least I should. Some don’t see that the sick and mentally ill are just normal folks that should, “get a grip” on their lives and act like “normal people.” The thing is, they are not normal and need help to even attempt to function and live, much less be normal. You need to get a grip and acknowledge that they need assistance of medications and other therapeutic devices to live.

I have to ask anyone that doubts people are trying to live on a human level, “Do you expect a paraplegic in a wheelchair to ‘try harder’ and be able to stand and walk?”

LaMar Going Prompted for a Pivot Point, so here it is.

____ made a profound impact in my life. Here’s why.

To be honest it was easy to call say the biggest pivot point in my life must be my life.

The Social Security Income assistance decisionmade a profound impact in my life. Why you ask? That judgment provides me a total financial independence for the first time ever. Health insurance and monthly bill of my cell phone are the only bills I have to pay after my bankruptcy. That is spilt where my brother since we share a plan. He pays most of it now until I start getting my monthly payments.

The biggest pivot point impact on my life could arguably be my multiple sclerosis, or MS, diagnosis. Though, I still have what the lawyer said in the meeting two months ago ringing in my head. The diagnosis is not the issue, but it is the symptoms that suffered that lead to the diagnosis of my MS. The lawyer made it clear for me to win my case for SSI was to show that it was the numerous symptoms I faced on the day of my diagnosis.

The biggest issue that got me in the ER in 2017 was my vision. Watching the world thorough a flicking camera was the state of my eyesight in the weeks leading up to the visit to the hospital that monumental life-changing day. My eyes jittered like a marble rolling on the top of a running clothes washing machine.

The state of my energy was constant fatigue and low. I honestly could fall asleep sitting in a chair watching TV at any hour of the day. I stopped playing the guitar and am thankful for spell checking and auto-correct since my hands are not as functional now. I cannot be relied to on to carry much since I am now weak and my hand might drop or throw things when I try to pick up anything.

Doing even normal thing at home was and still is a struggle to cook or wash clothes and dishes by hand now. Food I eat must be precut and proportioned by family before cook it to eat. I once ate mostly salads and now I have to eat a lot of prepackaged food since my hands are unstable and attention can wonder with out me knowing what I am doing.

Sorry LaMar, I had to use your prompt in my own blog since it eats up the limited mental capacity I have to write now.

Adam, Diabetic Cyborg

Written by

Optimist, Mental Health/health advocate, sneakerhead, dog lover, Historian, disabled blogger-vlogger w/ MDD, T1 Diabetes, RMS https://linktr.ee/diabeticcyborg