The Amal Clooney Effect
Are we all looking for a Clooney or striving to be an Amal?
First let me start off by saying I have so much respect for Amal Clooney and that the following disclosed trend is in no way her fault.
Something happened when the world learned that long time playboy, George Clooney was marrying activist and lawyer Amal Clooney. It’s the same thing that happened when Sandy and Danny danced at the carnival and drove off in a convertible in Grease, when Bender planted a kiss on Clare at the end of The Breakfast Club, any time Damon reminded us how far his character had come since he fell in love with Elena on The Vampire Diaries, when Sebastian gave his life to protect Annette in Cruel Intentions (none of these should be spoilers) …… I could go on and on. Women heard this and thought that maybe the guy they are in love with that “really likes them but just isn’t ready for a relationship,” will eventually change his mind, commit and she will be the Amal to his George.
It’s a common situation that most women suffer from at some point in their life (I did for about 3 years in college… I was very disillusioned), the undeniable attraction and gravitation of the elusive untamable bad boy. The belief that you can be the one, the one to change him. That you’ll break through his bad boy exterior and no matter what, he’s the one.
I don’t even want to tell you the number guys I dated just hoping I could make them fall in love with me. The ones that weren’t ready and are now in committed relationships. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t because I was lacking, it just wasn’t the right time or the right person. Even the right relationship will have bumps, but if you are basing the fact that it’s right on some Hollywood idea that if you just improve he will wake up and change, then you need to stop.
I’m sure you’re all boss bitches, so don’t think this is a comparison of how amazing of a woman Amal is. She might have a hell of a resume, but we all have things that make us shine (like my previously mentioned dazzling personality and clever).
The problem with this, if I’m being honest, is Amal’s relationship is the exception, not the rule. I can only assume that when Amal and George decided to settle down wasn’t because she met him and wanted to change him, but because they met and he changed himself. Something about her made him want to straighten up and fly right (to quote my Mom), something about her said to him, “This woman will not put up with the same games I normally day and she won’t stand for my usual behavior.
Before you say I’m contradicting myself, stop and think. He changed himself; she didn’t change him.
No matter how wonderful, beautiful, skinny, and educated you are, if a guy is wrong for you and/or not ready for you, then that’s okay.
The problem is some women strive to be this picture perfect image, and no matter how much they accomplish if it doesn’t land them that bad boy or change his mind then they feel like they’ve failed.
Well here’s some news ladies: it’s his loss and your gain. If he can’t see how amazing you are then on to the next!
If you are doing your thing, regardless of what that it is, then you are a badass and need to be with someone who not only recognizes that but is on their own grind.
If you want to lose weight, start a business, buy a house it needs to be for you. It needs to be to make yourself happy, not to impress someone else.
We need to start being a woman we would want to be around BEFORE we attract the type of man we want.
If we are constantly working to improve ourselves for other people, we will always come up short.
Edited by M.L. Scarbrough
Originally published at www.allthethingsido.com.