Week 2 — Dsomething and a Rose

Ok, I confess, the first day of my newly planned life had not gone quite as anticipated. Although the box had arrived, the webex had taken slightly longer than I thought and whilst I knew more than ever that my future horizons were behind the camera I decided to complete the various action points that arose from my corporate web meeting if for no other reason than for prosperity. Those actions completed I now had the tricky choice between completing my letter of resignation and loading the now fully charged battery into my camera. Naturally my photographic instinct kicked in and I chose the latter.

The green bars on the screen confirmed. I was charged. I was now the proud owner and operator of my gleaming Dsomething or other Nikon complete with shiny camera strap and if that was not enough to make me even more of a professional photographer I also had a gleaming 18–55 lens proudly attached to it. I should pause here for audible gasps of impressiveness from my audience. Ok, to be honest with you I was not quite sure what the 18–55 meant but it does sound impressive doesn’t it? and compared to my previous Canon Sureshot pocket camera the lens looked seriously impressive. I was.

The lens had the bonus of something else as well. It had some F numbers. Not just one F number but two. It must be impressive as it had both 3.5 and a 5.5. I know, you’re impressed. I was. Not quite sure what they mean now but I am working on the principle that they must be a model number or something similar and probably not that important. Photography is all about the eye, seeing the shot, getting the angle and all these numbers well they are just details that budding professionals like us just don’t get bogged down in do we?

Camera switched on, and now hanging around my neck from my gleaming new Nikon black and yellow camera strap and with the Dial on Manual, I stepped out into the back garden for my first photoshoot. I thought I would enjoy a few minutes of peace and quiet shooting before the neighbours came out, no doubt, to watch me at work and to try to gain some insight into how a truly professional photographer sees the hidden angle, captures that wonderful colour and works and finds the money shot. It would be a delight to share the answers to such mysteries.

Ah, the classic English Rose, a perfect subject. Not, I accept, the first time this subject has been chosen by a photographer but I said to myself never quite photographed like this before. Camera lens cover off I chose to use the professional approach and use the viewfinder to align my shots. Standing, kneeling, crouching and even lying down to get every conceivable angle I routinely viewed each shot and pressed the red button with gay abandon. Oh, this was the life. No corporate emails, no voicemails, no desk, just me and my trusty Dsomething camera producing magical photos that, well, I assume, someone would buy, somehow. Details for later.

An hour in I decided that I should not use up all my creative juices in one sitting and slightly surprised that the neighbourhood had not all poured out to watch this photographic wizard at work I decided now was the time to upload my shots, I think this is a technical term. The plan was to upload in good time for my wife’s return from work as I was duly convinced that once she saw the standard of work I could produce in such a short space of time, her negative rumblings of my future life as a photographer would be laid to rest. Oh the joy. Laptop open, software loaded, cables attached I watched as each photo was passed from camera to PC. Now all that was left to do was to view my masterpieces……………