I Like Big Boobs

the dream vs reality hahaha

Yes it’s true, I like big boobs. Let me explain…So I remember being twelve years old and stuffing my sister’s bra(which I stole by the way haha)with toilet paper. I first tried stuffing the bra with tennis balls then golf balls and neither one looked natural or comfortable let alone believable. I was a late bloomer but I was determined to have some shape on my chest. Seeing that I was four months away from going to high school, my reasons were very practical. As part of our school uniform we were required to wear a bra under our shirts as the shirt was ever so slightly see through. I had nothing, not even tiny bumps of hope on my chest. I kept asking my mom if it was ok to just wear a vest because what was the bra going to hold up?? She would just look at me and laugh and tell me to be patient.

So off to school I went..

Stuffed bra,check! I had settled on folding two pieces of toilet paper inside the bra just to give it the slight humps that I so desired were real. I looked at myself once over and thought that this was believable. Just to add to my embarassment I had a cold and I was obssessing over my new chest that I forgot my tissues at home. I then had to venture into my my flat plains to save my nose from becoming a waterfall of shame. Moving along swiftly from that moment of utter horror, we continue my tale of bravery and adventure hahaha. I was still determined to try out my humps. the first person that I ran into at school saw right through my facade and pointed out the fact that she can see that I was finally wearing a bra. A normal human beings response would be,”Yes I am.” My response however was one of terror and a swift sprint to the bathrooms to free myself from my lies and thieving ways. I call it the emancipation of the humps.

I soon bloomed…

and had humps that needed a bra but were still small. I then stumbled upon the beautiful creations called push up bras. the joy I felt by wearing the glorious push up bras…sigh…the quest to have the big boobs was still going strong. fake it till you make it right?

So here I sit, a thirty year old woman with double D boobs. V I C T O R I O U S!!!

It may have taken me years to finally have them but hallelujah!! As life would have it, it brought my dreamer self a different reality. My humps grew and instead of parading them in cute tops, they were used as a food source. Did I mention that they also leaked and constantly gave me flashlights of warm milk all over my not so cute tops. Here I was thinking that I was getting that awesome attention from people because mama made an effort to look good and they saw it and acknowledged it. Hahahaha, if only, instead they were looking at me because I was a walking milk factory. I have come to realise that big boobs are work. Certain clothes do not fit, buttons are not your friend and pretty lacy bras are so expensive you end up wearing the same bras you saw your granny wear. Afterall that is affordable and it does a good job at keeping the humps up as gravity pulls them down.

#CONFESSIONTIME

I have a bag full of my A cup bras in the hopes that one day my humps will return to being molehills instead of these glorious mountains. Oh to be human, always looking at something else that you think you want and never counting the cost. I count myself blessed because I have had the best of both worlds, surgery free. THANK YOU PREGNANCY! I can now make an informed decision on what would suit me best and hopefully my body will also agree. I think I can settle for somewhere in the middle. A hill never hurt anybody hehehe. Big boobs are lovely…on other people. I will enjoy them from afar as I walk back to not so little humpville ever so grateful for the lesson life has taught me. To count the cost but more than that to enjoy every season in my life so that I never have to look back but continue to look foward to bigger and better things, just not the boobs, hahaha.