How to have fun in marriage.
Without fun, romance, and sex, marriage is reduced to a business relationship. Married couples have forgotten the importance of having fun. They have forgotten what is was like to fun. They have forgotten that having fun is not only crucial to the longevity of the marriage, but is very biblical.
Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.”
This past Sunday, we looked at three types of fun every married couple must enjoy from Song of Songs.
1. Every couple must enjoy Face to Face, where the focus is on TALK.
In Song of Songs 7:1–9, there is a strong emphasis on the compliments. Men want headlines. Women want details. In this passage, Solomon compliments his love from her toes to the top of her head and everything in between. He is very graphic with the details, but do not miss the focus. He is not writing a Facebook post or sending a text message. The focus is on face to face communication. We must create time where the only goal is to talk.
Remember back to when you dated and would spend hours upon hours talking. Now as a married couple, you communicate mostly about schedules and rarely have fun doing so.
Communication is more than talking about what you did today or what you are doing tomorrow. I am not devaluing the importance of talking about schedules, but there has to be more. Communication must include personal needs, spiritual growth, and future dreams.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
It is imperative that we encourage and build our spouses up by using our words wisely. Men, do not wait for another man to compliment your spouse before you do. Do not only rely on your pastor to lead you and your home in spiritual growth. You are to lead your home well.
Ephesians 5:23 says, “For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.”
How often do you pray together? Plan together? Dream together? What does your talk time sound like?
2. Every couple must enjoy Side to Side, where the focus is on time.
In Song of Songs 7:10–11, the focus is simply lying in a pasture to spend quality time together.
A dear friend of mine spends every Friday with his spouse and they refer to Friday’s as Kaye Day. Here is what he posted on Facebook about Kaye Day. Kaye Day is about investing in our marriage, spending time together, discussing plans, reading the Bible together, praying together, laughing and talking together.
Have you ever considered a focused weekly date? As you read the question, excuses as to why you cannot have a weekly date began to cross your mind and they are as I stated excuses. Do not wait until your marriage is on the rocks to do something about it. Do something now.
Here are some inexpensive dates that I shared on Sunday:
- Pizza Date — You are forced to share a pie and the most you will spend for two is $20.
- Taco Date — We have this legit taco place where it’s $1.50 per taco. 4 taco’s each comes out to $12.
- Picnic Date — Make sandwiches and bring a sheet to sit on and find a park or in our case the beach.
3. Every couple must enjoy Belly Button to Belly Button, where the focus is on touch.
In Song of Songs 7:12, the focus is on physical touch. In every marriage there has to be a little touch.
Proverbs 5:18–19 says, “Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.”
I have heard “I don’t feel anything” to many times to count. My response is feelings follow actions.
Men, work on your approach. Women, make an approach. Think through how to surprise your spouse and inject a little excitement into your marriage. Be creative and have fun!
If your grass isn’t green, then water your own lawn. What would it look like to invest in your marriage?
As a society, we think it is easier to walk onto another lawn, but it isn’t until we have walked onto the other lawn that we realize there is plenty on dead grass and weeds on that lawn. we must take time to properly care for our lawn, ask a godly expert for counsel, fertilize it, water it, mow it, INVEST IN YOUR OWN LAWN!
In closing, there are four commitments that every couple should adapt From This Day Forward in their marriage:
1. Pray DAILY.
2. Date WEEKLY.
3. Spend a Full Day Together MONTHLY.
4. Take a Vacation ANNUALLY.
Next week, we will look at staying pure.