The Deplorable Etymology of POTUS in Nature
The Homo sapiens Deplora-potus, a narcissus-class tyrannical invertebrate, is an impressively brutish creature known for its ability to walk upright without a spine. The Deplora-potus can be easily identified by its large tuft of bleach-blonde colored hair, combed over (and over, and over again) to both mask and to compensate for its primitive brain. Nevertheless, its unchecked aggression, the ease with which it is manipulated, and its impressively large cognitive dissonance pose a threat to the entire animal kingdom.
The Deplora-potus has a carnal lust for committing fraud, which is exceeded only by its pursuit of attention.
Its preys upon any species of the animal kingdom cognitively unable, willingly or not, to observe its profound capacity to lie, cheat and steal; however, in general, its predators are innately aware — and frequently target — both the narcissism and the arrested intellectual development of this fascinatingly brutish creature. Circumstantial evidence overwhelmingly indicates the Deplora-potus suffers from untreated Cluster B narcissist personality disorder.
The vanity, impulsivity, abnormally low-attention span, and child-like mind make the Deplora-potus ripe for exploitation by America’s enemies, foreign and domestic.
The Deplora-potus clothes itself with exclusively foreign garments, typically in solid colors and, relative to its size, unflatteringly excessive. Its thought process are almost entirely contemporaneous and tactical in nature; accordingly, the Deplora-potus does not appear to read, exhibit critical thinking skills, or engage in strategic thought. Over seventy years of observations have led researchers to unanimously conclude the Deplora-potus is a notoriously vulgar creature. It is beyond learned improved behavior, as its perpetual intellectual state is on par with that of a five-year old human child.
The Deplora-potus is frequently compared to species of the Genus Pongo, the orangutan, on account of both its behavior and its physical orange-like and hunched appearance.
It does not engage in monogamous behavior, and frequently seeks new female mates having an average of thirty-one years in age; however, it is well established that each subsequent mate must be younger than the previous. Like the orangutan, the male Deplora-potus plays no role in raising its young; the Deplora-potus will also attempt to occasionally attempt to intimidate others with a series of low guttural noises, known collectively as the “suing call.”
The Deplora-potus becomes easily restless, and has a propensity for communicating by using guttural language. It prefers to share its thoughts in Twitteral form: researchers were initially puzzled by the frequency and the highly-erratic nature of its nocturnal social activity, which they transcribe following each “Tweet”.
At present, however, the overwhelming consensus is that these many outbursts are, in fact, total nonsense — the literal term for this phenomenon is “bullshit” — that has no basis in fact or reality.
The Deplora-potus demonstrates significantly high Pavlovian responses to the sight of large mammary glands found in female homo sapiens sapiens, regardless their age; a preponderance of documentary footage, and direct observations, demonstrate how the animal objectifies human females, who are warned to take extra precautions in its presence. The Deplora-potus has shown a repeated pattern of grabbing and attacking the external reproductive organs of human females.
The Deplora-potus has a nest in the jungle of Manhattan, and has been observed feeding upon jumbo slice pizza while utilizing tools; however, largely due to the behaviors and character traits described herein, its neighbors hold this extremely selfish and self-serving beast of burden in the highest contempt. Genetic analysis is required to determine if the Deplora-potus is related to, or actually the same as, the Homo sapiens No-respectus observed in this same jungle in the twentieth century, during the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s. While further research is ultimately required to determine whether Deplora-potus is the correct classification, researchers remain content to proceed without acquiring DNA samples.
The Deplora-potus possesses incredibly small prehensile, multi-fingered appendages. This physical trait, in conjunction with its social behavior, led at least one observer in the late twentieth century, to propose the present-day Deplora-potus be called a “short-fingered vulgarian.” This particular physical trait can also explain why the Deplora-potus requires eating utensils for consuming jumbo slice pizza.