Books About Women I’m Tired of Reading

Reimaginings of Jane Austen. This includes anything involving zombies, sea monsters, or vampires.

Early 30’s divorcee/spinster doesn’t know who she is and goes home to care for ailing father/mother/aunt/sister/neighbor and discovers the art of beekeeping/wine making/cheese making/charcuterie butchering/philately

Woman who becomes disabled (always in a wheelchair) and discovers her sexuality

Woman dates billionaire who likes to choke her

Anything where the woman is defined solely by the term “wife”

Woman who bones man back to having faith in goodness

Anything with the word “House” in the title

Teen girl with cancer who dies pale and thin and beautifully

Murdered woman gets revenge on the murderer by being obviously murdered and leaving clues for the troubled police officer whose wife has just left him

Any novel about a beach or beach house where the women do the cooking and cleaning and sigh over caretaking all the vacationing husbands and children

Ditto the above with major holidays

A nurse during WWII who falls in love with a soldier

A woman in a concentration camp and meets a soldier

Amish romance

Woman lawyer falls in love with client

Anything to do with friends from summer camp

Anything involving a couple trying to save their marriage and there is an orchard or a farm

Young witch who lives in small town (cities are better for hiding you nitwits)

Black women nursing lost white girl back to health

Books where defining characteristic of woman is “trying to have it all”

Woman whose personality is defined by shoes

“Dragon lady”

Femme fatale uses sexuality to sexually commit a jewel heist/murder/nonsense spying mission and sexually seduces the leading man with her sexuality which is as sexual as her capacity to be deadly which just makes her sexier

Tomboy proves she can be a pretty girl too but is better than pretty girls because she has a mean right hook

Fat woman who learns to love self and loses weight due to love and red wine

Woman who feels insecure about being too thin and delicate

Dystopian novel where woman becomes trained fighter from male authority figure or is somehow assigned a gang through the use of SAT words because this is how the New World Order works for some reason

Shy librarian in love with Mr. Darcy

Woman who has sexual awakening involving a lot of water metaphors

Women in book club reconcile life’s woes by drinking tea about it

Memoir where privileged woman quits job and has the savings to travel the world and find herself

Jane Eyre

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