I’m an Angry Feminist, Ask Me Anything

Submit your questions in the comments and I’ll answer them in this post.

“What is that lovely shade of lipstick? I adore the color.”

It’s a great brand called ColourPop. It can’t remember what it’s called but they also have a great green color that I wore to the beach and it stayed on all day. Highly recommend!

“What is it that drives you?
What makes you get up in the morning and decide that you’ll spend a portion of your day arguing and debating people on the internet?
And why do you think you’re the person to do this? Why do you think you’re right?
This might sound like I’m trying to demoralise you, but it really isn’t an attempt to do that. I’m just curious as to where this energy comes from?”

This is a very complex question so I might get long winded here. To answer the energy bit, it comes from not having a real choice in the matter. I’m a young, able bodied woman who sees and experiences injustice and oppression. Also my doctor has pointed out I drink 6 cups of tea a day and that could be a contributor. My drive comes from my experiences and the experiences of women around me and doing all I can to prevent those experiences from repeating. I’m naturally pretty driven and I’ve focused on the importance of making a more inclusive and fair world. I never really “decided” to argue with people on the internet, it was just the fallout. I’m a writer and a storyteller by trade which is why this is my vehicle of choice. I also am trying to reach out to other people and build community and often that means people don’t like what I say. Sometimes for very good reason. I’m a work in progress after all and by blasting my thoughts out into the conversation portal that is the internet I become better educated. And sometimes twitter eggs want to have a fight with me and hey, they are people too. It’s my job to educate them.

As for why I think I’m the person to do this? Who else is gonna do it? Have you seen comment threads? As a fairly privileged person, I feel it’s my duty to have these conversations because it’s completely unfair to expect people less privileged to have to shoulder all of the exhausting explanations and advocacy. Being visible on the internet is a political act for reasons I still don’t understand. People respond this way in person too by commenting on how “opinionated” I am. Women who are forthright are see as a social deviation of conditioning so it’s less that I think I am the person to do it and more that people want to shut down confrontational women. My personal assertion is that we’ve built a lot of societal narrative around the idea that women don’t know or shouldn’t know what we want or need until a man instructs us. I see it play out in sex all the time where the journey of sexual pleasure is supposed to be guided by men and women aren’t supposed to articulate it. I push back against it because change won’t happen unless I bring up the problems and tell people what my experiences are and what is needed. Over and over again. Squeaky wheel.

“Why so angry?” — from Twitter

White supremacist patriarchy. I’m really tired of being victimized and watching my friends die. It blows.

Don’t you wish you had a universal remote?

You have no idea. Actually you probably do. But even bigger than that, I just wish men believed me when I talked about catcalling. There is this incredible skepticism on the severity of the problem and we’re in a current culture that dismisses people when they say “Hey, this makes me feel unsafe.” Of course feminists do that all the time within ranks as well as we’ve seen with White Feminism and cis-only feminism (commonly called TERFs). I really want more than anything to not have to trot out my sexual harassment resume to get men to take my seriously. I’ve been joking for a year now about writing a post called How I Got This Way so that when men pour into my comments needling me about whether I was raped or not I can just link them to it. 1) I don’t think being a victim of rape somehow adds more credence to my argument that people shouldn’t violate other people but men always fucking ask or probe around due to the fetishing we have of rape in our culture and 2) people use my status as a victim as some sort of thing I invented and then am building my brand on. It’s a way to make me irrational or weak because “no one can make you feel bad without your consent” and so my voice becomes about me selfishly trying to get revenge on the “one bad apple” who violated me. I get told I’m disempowering myself by discussing catcalling as harassment and then told that I’m attention seeking. Hey, it’s my fucking trauma, I will do whatever the fuck I want with it and I sure as hell am choosing advocacy. It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t scenario where my argument holds no water until I qualify myself as a victim and then my argument holds no water because I’m a damaged victim lashing out due to abuse and hey, the guys in the conversation aren’t the ones that raped me so I should really just chill out.

Okay, I take it back. I really want that Universal Remote. Or at least one with a freaking mute feature.