Stop treating racism like it’s an arbitrary construct and not our lived experience

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Gaslighting is a term that refers to an individual psychologically manipulating another person. The person is made to question their reality and second guess everything that’s happening around them. It has been used in the context of intimate relationships but it can happen within friendships, work colleagues or family members.

It can simply show up as someone starting an argument but then later claiming that you were the one that started it. It’s making you re-think what you experience by saying “well you over-reacted!”

The ultimate point is that it makes you question your judgement and think “did that really…

You can be poor AND have white privilege

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So you’ve opened yet another article on white privilege, whilst seemingly thinking it doesn’t exist. You feel uncomfortable and perhaps angry that you are yet again reminded of this privilege, but you cannot see it.

You are getting annoyed that people are calling you out on your whiteness because well you didn’t choose to be white, right?

Now, imagine, how frustrated and uncomfortable BIPOC people feel when we are reminded of this. All. The. Time. Imagine our discomfort when someone crosses the street when they see us? Imagine our discomfort when we are told to “go back to your country”…

And no this isn’t racist.

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So in the last two weeks, we have all been having conversations about race. For some white people, it’s been very uncomfortable. When Black people and people of colour have called them out on their whiteness and the privileges that come with it, they have felt defensive and I saw a lot of people claiming that they are now experiencing “reverse racism”.

First of all, there is no such thing as “reverse racism”. It simply doesn’t exist. Marie Beecham explains why this is essentially impossible.

Racism requires both prejudice and power. You may face prejudice. That’s not racism, because your…

If you think the protests are getting out of control, this is for you

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So you have witnessed the brutal death of Geroge Floyd and you have used the hashtag #Blacklivesmatter and you feel like you have done your part. You have even reposted on your story and you say you stand in solidarity with the black people. You’re an ally now, right? You have done all the right things, taken all the right steps but I mean what is with the protests?

It’s starting to become a little “inconvenient” now, right? You want to go outside and feel “safe” again. You fully support the movement but now it’s just getting a “bit out…

It could mean that someone out there finally feels heard and understood for the first time in their life

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Stories had always held a special place in my heart. I started reading books at a very young age. When I was younger, they provided me with a magical imagination and gave me adventures of faraway lands. During my teenage years, books became a refuge. They were something I could hide into, the words providing comfort and healing. My worries would melt away, and it was only the characters on the pages that mattered. I would have a new series ready before I even flipped the last page. Books were everything to me

Since I loved reading so much, it…

Yep, write it down in your planner or your to-do list and then worry your little heart out

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Worrying used to be my favourite hobby, I was a self-proclaimed worry queen. I mean I thought I was being productive, I thought if I could just think about all the possible things that could go wrong, I would somehow be able to prevent them from happening. But of course, that wasn’t the case, I would often just end up exhausting myself from worrying without actually having found a solution and then the cycle would carry on again.

It really started to take a toll on my life, I would spend so much time thinking about all the things that…

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‘It’s absurd to think we shouldn’t feel grief right now. Let yourself feel the grief’ — David Kessler

I noticed that I had been feeling anxious for a few days but thought it was just the usual worry. I kept telling myself that I should be happy, I finally had the time to write, something I always struggled with. But since the quarantine, I had so much time and this was great news! Yet why couldn’t I actually be happy about that? I had worked on my anxiety and stress a lot for the past few months so I was confused as to why I was feeling like that again?

I had an ongoing battle with the voices…

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‘Honey, things will be amazing in the future and but things are also amazing right now.’

Over the last few months, I became really invested in my personal development and podcasts really helped me uncover my many limitations. It was a regular day and I was sat home, listening to Dr. Rangan Chatterjee’s ‘Feel Better, Live More’ podcast.

This time, his guest was Peter Crone, who is known as the ‘mind architecture’. In the podcast, he said so many things that resonated with me and taught me and whilst I’d love to write about all the wonderful things he talked about, that’ll require a 5000 words essay! …

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I was scrolling and I came across a quote that said ‘do the hardest thing you can today’ and it really struck a chord with me. Most often than not, I would set myself impossible tasks and when I couldn’t complete them, I’d get frustrated with myself and get annoyed that ‘why was I not able to do this’.

And because I’d focus so much on doing these big things, I’d neglect to do the little tasks that needed time. I’d say ‘I want to write a 1000 word article’ and then when I’m unable to do so, I’d beat…

Someone will eventually give you a chance — it’s just a matter of when

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So I’ve just graduated and it was one of the happiest days of my life. After the previous three stressful years, it felt like a milestone. I was finally ready to take on the world, and with my degree sorted, I felt like I could do anything. It was empowering. It felt like everything in my life was finally falling in pieces.

I was exactly where I was meant to be.

Unfortunately, this feeling didn’t last for too long. In the bliss of graduation, my mind forgot about the fact that I had no job lined up, and an uncertain…


A twenty-something brown girl | Writing to set my soul free

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