The Speech

Felix Garcia W.
Aug 27, 2017 · 2 min read

“Comrades, the time has come to reconquer our pride. We have been living in the shadows for too long. We have been made ashamed of our roots, our purity, our greatness. We should walk with our values high and our morale intact, for it is us who posses the most virtuous form of all. We will not take secondary treatment no more, we must not remain dormant.

Our legacy has been tainted, corrupted by those who know no respect and respect no tradition; they must be given no mercy in return. They will be submitted to our greatness.”

Don Doughnut, a plain donut and the leader of the Keep Doughnuts Plain movement, delivered his speech to a mob of angry donuts. Power rushing through it’s core, powder melting on it’s hole, Don emphasized on the urgency of action.

“Back in the good old days, the doughnut name stood for something. Now, they seek to eliminate us, erase us from history. We may not stand aside while every fried pastry befouls our heritage.

Rainbow-sprinkles parade in our displays and stuffed treats have taken our place. Nevertheless, they shall not be called doughnuts; WE WERE CREATED WITH HOLES FOR A REASON!

Glaze-pride is but a synonym of plain genocide, an insult to the maker.

Plain doughnuts are expiring on shelves. Health concerns are alarming the population, the propaganda system is built on lies upon lies against us. Gluten-free donuts, “healthy” donuts, organic donuts, or whatever adjective their delusive minds try to self-appoint next are mere lies and an abomination to our species. Donuts should be delicious, never healthy!

I will say this in natural language so none is lost in translation:

I am a plain Doughnut.

Don concluded the speech, unaware that at some point, it’s plainness would become undistinguishable as it became bolus of a guy alternating bites between Don and a Jelly donut.

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