Four Reasons That in 2017 Melania Trump Might Become the Most Powerful Person in Politics

So it’s no secret Melania Trump isn’t exactly smashing the patriarchy as our newest FLOTUS. It’s actually hard to tell what she’s doing because we haven’t had a Melania sighting for over 12 days. Her reluctance to move to Washington doesn’t give the public the impression that she wants the job either, and it’s not a stretch to say she didn’t look very comfortable at the inauguration.

If you’re breathing and have a Facebook account, you know what Free Melania means. I smiled for a second when I saw it, just like I smiled at the Free Katie t shirts 10 years ago. I’ve also taught enough gender studies courses to feel bad about it. Melania’s potential unhappiness is now a joke people share on Facebook and, unsurprisingly, that makes my feminist spidey senses go off. While the hashtag #freemelania is kind of funny, it’s also kind of mean. For over a year now, she’s been subjected to accusations that, at best, she’s married to an asshole, and at worst, an abuser. As a communication strategist, I’m also sad for her brand. For whatever reason, she has very little control lately in defining her public identity and instead, the media is doing it for her. Since the inauguration, we’ve seen experts coming out of the woodwork to analyze the Trumps’ body language and microexpressions frame-by-frame. Using only video evidence, alot of people have concluded she suffers from emotional abuse. We are in the precarious position of feeling sorry for her and making fun of her at the same time, and for a lot of reasons, that’s not cool.

Here’s the thing: all this speculation could be true or none of this could be true. We just don’t know and we probably never will because we aren’t defining who Melania is on her own terms. The truth is, we don’t talk about her unless we are talking about her husband. That’s what patriarchy does: it perpetuates the idea that a woman’s worth is dependent upon her relationship to a man. It’s the same logic that says Donald Trump would be good for women because he was a great father and husband. That’s always dangerous, right?

As a communication strategist I find myself wondering if Melania really is in a gilded cage or if she has other options. What if Melania Trump could be the most powerful person in the administration and we just don’t know it? What if she doesn’t even know?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Donald’s entire presidency and legacy hinges on his ability to stay married to Melania. He needs her way more than she needs him and if she’s smart, and I think she is, she’ll realize she’s got a lot more power than most people think. If you don’t believe me think about what might happen to her husband if she dumped him? What if the most powerful man in America, one that sold voters an old but familiar idea that a woman’s place is right behind her husband, couldn’t make his marriage work? What would happen if she walked? I’m not saying that it will happen. I’m not saying that it should happen. But in this political climate, anything is possible. We all thought we knew how elections work, and then 2016 happened. 2017 I am sure will be just as surprising.

If the Office of the First Lady is vacated, four important things happen:

Campaign promises become unsustainable. Donald would have a hard time using Make America Great Again. Well, he’ll probably still say it, but it won’t work the same way. While a lot of rules have been broken this election cycle, there are still institutional and gender norms that govern the presidency. In some respects, Trump’s challenge to Make America Great Again was a thinly coded call to turn back the clock on gender norms for all americans, including men. He, therefore, is also impacted by his own rhetoric. Too much of that phrase is tied to embodying gender norms he can’t enforce. She goes out the door, and a lot of his credibility as a president and a hypermasculine businessman goes too.

Policy becomes harder to implement. He would lose even more ability to push legislation that deals with women’s issues like healthcare or equal pay. That’s what happens when your campaign argues that you are great for women because your wife and daughter love you. If your wife goes, so does your ability to talk about these things with a straight face.

He loses a lot of credibility. Some of the presidency’s legitimacy is premised on the idea that come inauguration day, the country gets a President and a First Lady. This twofer has become an institutional norm. There hasn’t been an unmarried man in the white house since Woodrow Wilson who was widowed and then remarried. Let’s also not forget that Trump is only the second divorcee to hold the office. Ronald Reagan was the first to hold that distinction. Americans across the ideological spectrum expect the president to come with a partner. First ladies serve an important cultural function.They, like their husbands, have a unique ability to influence how americans understand themselves and their role as citizens. More recently, First Ladies have been in the position of highlighting important social issues in the public sphere and take on a more activist role. Melania is expected to do this as well. She also serves an important humanizing function for him. That’s important when you’re seen as a bully. Bottom line: Donald needs Melania to help legitimize his presidency. At this point, he needs all the help he can get.

His legacy is screwed up. He would hold the distinction of being the first sitting president to go through a divorce while in office and the first president to be dumped while in office. Essentially, he would go from POTUS to “that guy.” You know, that guy who is the embodyment of failure. Everyone knows someone like that. Someone who just can’t get it together. For his supporters who truly believe a woman’s place is in the home, he becomes that guy that couldn’t keep his wife in line. For those who truly believe a nuclear family is the ideal, he becomes that guy that couldn’t keep his family together for a third time and I doubt they will give him a fourth chance. For protesters, he becomes that guy who was so awful, his wife gave up being First Lady of the United States just so she didn’t have to be in the same room with him. He becomes living, breathing proof that they were right all along. For SNL and the Late Show, a dumped Donald would be the gift that keeps on giving.

Melania on the other hand, would probably fare pretty well when all is said and done.

With the title of FLOTUS behind her and all the perks that come with it, she wouldn’t have to be worried about money, and overall, her brand would probably get a much needed boost. Sure there would be a backlash from those who think women are synonymous with property, but it’s nothing she and a good communication strategist couldn’t handle. She would be championed as a role model for women who have the courage to leave. She would be everything that Clinton’s critics wanted: a woman who didn’t stand by her man. Almost paradoxically, she would also be everything Clinton supporters wanted: someone on the inside who could stand up to Trump and send a message that his behavior will not be tolerated.

I’m not arguing she really is unhappy or should walk away from a marriage I know nothing about. I am offering a reminder that she is more than a one dimensional character in a Lifetime movie. Positioning Melania solely as a victim without acknowledging the inherent power and privilege that the Office of the First Lady affords only serves to further silence her. It’s not up to us to decide the extent of her happiness or what she should do in her marriage.

Recognizing the extent to which the Office of the First Lady is integral to the success or failure of the presidency will do a lot more to help her than constantly positioning her as a helpless woman who needs our sympathy. Whether she realizes it or not, she’s got a lot going for her. Like it or not, she has a lot of power and it’s up to her how and when she uses it.