How to Diffuse Tension Don Jessop Breakthrough Guy
I’ve spent my lifetime mastering the art of neutralizing powerful negative emotions and diffusing tension in other people. As a child, it was about survival. I had to find a way to stop the verbally abusive behavior of my older brothers. I remember entire afternoons consisting of nothing more than sitting in a quiet place thinking, and practicing how to speak to my brothers or parents to communicate more peace in the home.
As a teenager, I found a special interest in horses. I found my natural skills worked well with diffusing tension in animals. I started with scared, abused, dominant, and aggressive animals. People started calling me a horse whisperer before I turned twenty. Years of honing my skills as a promoter of non-aggressive or fearful behavior slowly created an audience of people for my trade and craft. And now, I am devoted almost entirely to helping people who struggle with stress, fear, and tension.
I don’t know everything, of course, but I hope to share with you some simple strategies for diffusing negative emotion such as anger, or fear, or depression.
The lessons I’ve learned along the way can be extremely valuable for people like you and me. And here are just a few of those lessons:
1. When emotions are high, remember this phrase: “20 minutes”
20 minutes is the average time a heightened expression lasts before the blood chemistry changes. (It can change much sooner, but it usually won’t last much longer). When the blood chemistry in your body changes, the emotions and/or feelings you have also start to change. If you can live for just 20 minutes longer you can be free of the tension you feel.
2. When emotions are out of control remember this: You’re not alone.
That means others are experiencing similar life circumstances. You’re not broken, you’re not weird. There is nothing “wrong” with you. You’re just reacting to circumstance with a part of your brain you haven’t yet fully developed. When you realize that we all react to circumstance, and some people react like you and others react differently, you can learn to “react” to circumstances in brand new ways. It is a skill you can develop and practice.
3. When circumstances are driving you to depression or anxiety remember this: The future is brighter.
If you have no hope for a brighter future. If you think this is the end. If you think there is no way out. You are thinking with the same part of the brain that created the emotion you feel. I invite you to hope in a brighter future by simply realizing that the fact that the future is not yet here. The future could be better, it could be worse. It is truly unknowable. Therefore, since we cannot control the future entirely we must at least hope for a better future, because dreading an ugly future will take you deeper into depression and fear.
Tony Robbins teaches us, you must change your mental state by changing your body and blood chemistry. Start walking, change your scenery. Give you brain the opportunity to try to imagine a brighter future and when you see it, start planning things you can do to ensure it. That is how progress is made. Don’t sit in the same hole you dug. Start looking for resources now!
We provide many of those recourses with at www.sendmelife.com. Check it out.
Don Jessop — the breakthrough guy