#BlackLive Matter — Your Actions Matter

It has been a very difficult week in the US. The anger evidenced by the killing of police officers in Dallas and the subsequent protests across the US gives huge cause for concern. There is no question that being black in America is a tremendously disadvantaged position. There is no question that the actions of Micah Johnson, shooting dead five white police officers, is despicable and does nothing to advance the cause of #BlackLivesMatter. But the shooting and the protests are evidence of the anger and rage that builds during decades of the black community being disrespected by (a subset of) predominately white authorities.

It all starts with disrespect; you have to wonder whether the actions of the police or authorities are reflective of the general prejudices of the communities the police are supposed to serve, or the opinions of the voters who put the politicians in power. When opportunities to bully or disrespect those in less privileged positions arise, many of us do so without thinking or considering the seeds we are planting for social or other kinds of unrest.

When asked, most white, middle-aged, non-Jew, middle class individuals will take umbrage if challenged and asked if they are racist, ageist, anti-Semitic, chauvinist or feminist, or disparaging of the socially deprived. But few will stand up for the disrespected, or call to task their friends or colleagues when they see actions, behaviors or attitudes that are discourteous or contemptuous of those less privileged.

Racism is the most dangerous of all prejudices. But if we each practiced fairness, tolerance and respect in our everyday interpersonal interactions, we would be less likely to stand by while others demonstrated narrow-mindedness and bigotry. The casual injustices that we tolerate lead us to be less critical of the greater malaise of racism and other damaging impartialities.

We are less likely to tolerate racism (or any other negative-ism) if we treat everyone that we encounter with the respect that we expect to have conferred on those we most care about.

When we practice disrespect in any form, we confirm that we tolerate disrespect and that sows the seeds of much greater discrimination.

Small things matter.

You might not think it, but you are being disrespectful or prejudicial when:

You abuse (or fail to thank) the waiter in restaurant because ‘she is there to serve you’.
You assume that the sole woman in the meeting is the one you should ask to get the coffee.
You think it is ok to arrive late for a meeting because the other people in the meeting are junior to you and ‘they can wait’.
You assume all men are misogynists.
You assume all women are men-haters.
You assume all white people are racist.
You assume all black people hate white people.
You pay your female/non-Caucasian employees less than the white males.
You are surprised that the office cleaner is not Black or Hispanic.
You vote for a future for your country with fewer immigrants.
You adopt a hiring policy that discriminates against people over forty years old.
You want to build a wall to keep the people out.
You don’t think everyone’s — and I mean everyone’s — opinion matters.
You ignore all but the most senior person in the room.
You stand by and watch any of these things happen.

I recall a story told to me by Lenny, a black ski-instructor who when applying for the position at a ski-school in Austria, sent a photo of his white friend with his application because knew he would not get the job if he sent in his own photo. He got the job, and while his employers were surprised when he turned up looking a lot darker than the photo, there was nothing they could do.

I remember a senior executive in a large company whose treatment of a smaller vendor to the company was so bad that the small company nearly went out of business. When asked why, the response was “Well, I can and there is nothing they can do.” The executive was a Hispanic female and the vendor’s CEO a white male.

From small seeds mighty oaks grow. We must be sure we are planting the right seeds that we can nurture for a more inclusive and respectful world.