Published inThe Identity Current·PinnedMember-onlyFinding Love as a Trans Woman…and all the caveats — Dating as a trans woman is a minefield. Throughout my life, I have gone through three significant evolutions of fear. My first fear was, as a child, being caught wearing my mother’s clothes. I was. I was unpunished. The second was coming out to my then-wife. I did. I was…Transgender3 min readTransgender3 min read
5 days agoMember-onlyI Will Be Be Back in Two Weeks!I have to take a pause from Medium, this is why — I am writing this under immeasurable mental and physical pain. Hold your horses, this is a long one. I was on Medium for a long time before writing a single word. I made no comments, no drafts, nothing. I just watched. It was like being in a club and watching…Goodbye5 min readGoodbye5 min read
Published inScribe·Nov 26Member-onlyGodspeed, Cleansing StormAnother week to progress — Oh, the quilt of the almighty has yet to fall upon me. I do not sweat these beads in vain. I smile and turn towards a brighter future. The world has sweated me out, and now it seeps through my pores. Black. Tarry. They say that in Old Shanghai, I…Prose2 min readProse2 min read
Published inScribe·Nov 20Member-onlyToday I Am Zero Days CleanTomorrow, I will be one day clean — Sweat is pouring out of my brain. Love running into my pores. Every lick of heat, pains. There is no charity in recovery. There is only a brutal mercy. This pain has to be for me to be. It is almighty suffering — this hygiene business. The business of life…Prose3 min readProse3 min read
Published inScribe·Nov 16Member-onlyDear, Come CleanThe Grand Bangkok Express — The coldness of hot sweat is a contradiction in terms. My stomach turns. You could set your watch to it. The Grand Bangkok Express. This fever shall pass, yet followed by a much stronger friend. It is all simply a battle of wills. I won’t roll over. …Prose2 min readProse2 min read
Published inThe Narrative Arc·Nov 14Member-onlyI Am a Functioning Heroin Addict, and I Need HelpAn admission — I’m finding less and less room to move. I can’t move this way or that way. Every direction is blocked, and I am stuck in the crucible of need. I look in the mirror and see an honest desire. A desire to be honest. There comes a time when the…Addiction Recovery5 min readAddiction Recovery5 min read
Published inThe Narrative Arc·Nov 6Member-onlyThe Trans Woman and Her Loving FatherI granted my father his last wish — When my father died, a metaphorical train hit me. My world, the world stood still. It ceased to be. People were frozen in time. He had been sick with cancer. It ravaged his body like a plague of locusts. It ate him from the inside out. The sun was shining…Narrative4 min readNarrative4 min read
Published inScribe·Nov 1Member-onlyThe Love of the BelleA reflection of souls — My lungs have fought for new air. For fresh air, lighter for the heart and soul. The fluid in my lungs cannot render my voice obsolete. There has been a vileness to my soul that’s been washed away by optimism. I am better. I am more robust, and I know…Love2 min readLove2 min read
Published inScribe·Oct 24Member-onlyLove and Moments by the FireOn the season, and love — You must feel the beauty of the autumn leaves as they fall onto your shoulders like heaven-sent angels from Mother Nature. A stroll in the park seems unfamiliar to my weak body. The bugle of the winds blows past my cheek with such cold beauty. The sun is out for…Prose2 min readProse2 min read
Published inThe Narrative Arc·Oct 19Member-onlyA Transphobic Attack Gave Me HopeHumanity can be found in the darkest corners — It was July. My wife and I had not spoken for two weeks. Fourteen days without a shared word. This was a low ebb. I would have preferred harsh words to silence. The words were on my tongue. Something had to give. Divorce is a loaded word. The act of…Narrative5 min readNarrative5 min read
