I still need training

Doug Stewart
Mar 9, 2017 · 4 min read

I agree with what Jesus said, “The spirit is willing but the body is weak”.

No matter how much I want to do the right thing all of the time, sometimes, I don’t.

That’s why things like the Dale Carnegie Program has been so relevant for so long (over 100 years). Even though our world is so much different than it was in the early 1900's. We communicate different. We think different. We live different. But somehow our human nature hasn’t changed all that much.

Just take a look at Dale Carnegie’s 30 principles and pick out the ones that you think (if consistently applied) would lead to a better, less stressful life for you…

The Dale Carnegie Program focuses on 30 principles:

  1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
  4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  5. Smile.
  6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
  7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  9. Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.
  10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  11. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  13. Begin in a friendly way.
  14. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
  20. Dramatize your ideas.
  21. Throw down a challenge
  22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  26. Let the other person save face.
  27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

I would suspect that EVERY human being (in their right mind) would agree that these principles are a good idea if you want to live a happy, healthy and relationship rich life. So why do we struggle to do what we know is best?

I have learned through instructing the Dale Carnegie Program that people (and by people, I mean me) aren't always so good at doing what they know (intellectually) to be best.

I know it’s not good to hold grudges and sometimes, I do it anyway. I know it’s not right to lash out in anger and sometimes I do it anyway. I know it’s not good or right to eat junk food and sometimes I do it anyway (especially after 10:00 pm)

My spirit is willing but my body is weak. For me, I have found that my behavior only changes when I do these four things

  1. I create space for myself to consider the effects of my attitude & behavior.
  2. I actively choose to change my perspective & attitude.
  3. I intentionally change my behavior.
  4. I create space to reflect on what happened and why.

When I do these four steps, something amazing happens. I become more conscious of my thoughts and actions and am better able to achieve the outcomes that I desire. After a while, it becomes second nature, automagically!

That is why I became a Dale Carnegie Instructor. Not because I was on a noble quest to “change” people. The truth is, I couldn't do that if I wanted to. I knew that I needed to change and the only way I could do that was through deliberate action toward my goals. I get excited every time I get the privilege to instruct because I am getting to experiance it all over again and I get to watch other people experiance it for the first time.

It reminds me of why I love taking my daughter to experiance new things. Her eyes light up, she sees new possibilities, she gets excited. It’s the same with people in the Dale Carnegie Program. I get inspired every time someone has a breakthrough. And, every time, I have breakthroughs of my own.

Becoming the person you were meant to be is a journey. Sometimes you feel lost in the wilderness and other times you feel like Rocky running up the stairs as Eye Of The Tiger plays in the back ground. I guess that’s why Mr. Carnegie said, “Our lives are lived in peaks and valleys”. The question I have to ask myself is, Am I using my peak and valleys to serve my growth or am I letting life just happen to me. Am I choosing to be a victim or a victor?

The way I answer that question dictates the action I take and the action I take creates my legacy.

What action are you taking?

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I would be honored if you would ❤️ it and share it with a friend.

For more about me, visit DougStewart919.com

To learn more about Dale Carnegie Training, visit DaleCarnegie.com or email me at Douglas.Stewart@DaleCarnegie.com.

You can find me on YouTube HERE or Facebook HERE or Twitter HERE or watch my TEDx Talk HERE.

Grammatical errors & misspellings complements of dyslexia : — )

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