I lost it halfway through

Once the door closes the silence is too euphoric to break. A fan spins in a distant room and laughter is heard through paper walls but in the immediate vicinity the only sound heard is the humming spin of the earth. Without distraction existence is felt. The lightness of being is meant to exude hope and importance in existence but in the silence nothing is made apparent. Conscious thought slowly fades and the weight of understanding is morphed from hardened definition to an intangible sensation. The urge to interact and do is quietly suppressed. The only inclination left is to fade deeper into the silence. Boredom as a concept fascinates. Within silent existence lies a truth that should stave off all distraction. The countless miracles of life are laid bare to the mind as concepts without form. The blankness of thought holds more profound answers to all questions than any logification could. And yet with the infinite possibility found within the silence I’m reminded of my own humanity and am too afraid to break with it to continue on. I loudly sigh and press play on a track or unpause a half finished movie. Without a word I decide to continue on the charade of having any inkling of understanding. Too great are the truths I might uncover. Too world shattering. I retreat back into a comfortable state of mind. “Here,” I think “Here I am safe.”