Hi Anna, see my comment and links above. Trust me you can heal yourself, I did and anybody can. I doubt many here have experienced many of the same challenges I have in this life. I was crippled for over 6 years and healed myself and an RVN vet who lived thru a truly living hell most cannot possibly comprehend. You can do this if you really want to. You are not a fuck up, you simply have not handled the things that mess with you correctly, simple as that. You just need the right direction !