Wanna Hook Up?
What’s up guys! So this week’s readings focused on sexualities. In chapter ten of the Wade and Marx Ferree textbook, they talk about the “hookup culture” in today’s college life/experience to begin the chapter off. Wade and Marx Ferree explain that this hookup culture is “a new norm on college campuses in which casual sexual contact in the absence of romantic intentions is held up by many as an ideal”. This is completely true. Now a days, the majority of people automatically think that losing their virginity is a part of college just as they state in the text, like it is some sort of ritual or tradition. But there are those who are under pressure by this big decision as well. These people just give into the pressure and have sex anyway, thinking that it is the only way to avoid the pressure in the first place. Wade and Marx Ferree mention that this increasing sexual permissiveness is a result of changes in the cultural and institutional context for sexuality.
In addition to the idea of doing gender, there is a way of doing sexuality as well. Wade and Marx Ferree explain that, “we learn the rules for whom we should be attracted to, what is attractive, how to be sexual, and what we should and should not do with one another”. They also bring up that our sexual activities are neither spontaneous nor natural, that they are carefully orchestrated creating some sort of pattern in our sexual interactions. I thought this was quite interesting. Wade and Marx Ferree also mention how the media and advertisements can bring attention to men’s subjectivity, their internal thoughts and feelings. From these certain images through media and advertisement, men undergo a process of sexual subjectification, where they are told what their internal thoughts and feelings should actually be. “Advertisements, for example, consistently portray a particular kind of woman as sexually desirable, repetitively implying that she is the proper object of men’s sexual attraction”. But in result to media and advertisements made in the “male gaze”, women are sexually objectified, the reduction of a person to his or her sex appeal, by men. In turn, women start to self-objectify, truly believe that their physical attractiveness determines their overall worth.
Furthermore, I thought the other two readings for the week were enlightening as well. In “Bisexual, pansexual, queer: Non-binary identities and the sexual borderlands”, Callis focuses on sexualities in the US that exist within the border between heterosexuality and homosexuality. She explains that non-binary identities are best understood as a “sexual borderland”. Callis states that, “rather than forming separately from the binary system, these identities have sprung up from the cracks within it, creating an in-between space that has become wider and more pronounced in recent years”. She then continues to express, “for those people inhabiting this borderland, it is a place of sexual and gender fluidity, a space where identities can change, multiply, and/or dissolve”. What I found interesting was that the borderland can serve multiple purposes for heterosexual and homosexual identified people living on either side. Callis explains that, “it can become a boundary not to be crossed, or a pathway to a new identity. Because the borderlands are emerging from within the current binary system of sexuality, they interface with individuals of all sexual identities. Therefore, the sexual borderlands have in many ways become the defining point of sexual identity, rather than a peripheral afterthought”.
In chapter nine of the Kimmel textbook, he expresses how guys mainly focus on hooking up with women instead of looking for a mature relationship during the college years. Personally, for the most part I agree with this statement. I’m not sure why the majority of guys are like this, but it’s the true. Due to this, Kimmel also explains that in result guys are unprepared to start real relationships after college. In addition, I found it pretty interesting that a good amount of women were fine with the casual sex because they are not experiencing anything great. Lastly, Kimmel talks about double standards between men and women on how saying you hooked up with someone helps their reputation. He also says that most men in this hook-up stage do in fact plan on getting married and having a family, but they are putting it off.