AFC — Tale of Anne Lee Chapter 01
“Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.” Sun Tzu
“You wanna be my friend?” asked the 10-year-old looking dishwater blond hair, blue eyed girl. The petite little girl smiled innocently up at the hulking brute with 29 victories and only 3 losses known as Kid Göre. His ripped 21-inch biceps complimented his steel-like 6-pack. He cracked his knuckles which were almost as big as her head. She gave the biggest smile she could, while he contemplated how long it would take to make this little girl beg for mercy.
“Are you sure you want to wave your rights as a newbie combatant?” asked the wised old judge. The little girl nodded yes with her big smile. Recently, the management of Fight Club was forced to change the rules to protect the newbie players from the more unscrupulous fighters. The experienced fighters were challenging newbies and beating them so bad, many newbies were quitting before they could gain any decent experience at Fight Club. Newbies were not allowed to be accepting challenges against people who had more than 10 victories under their belt. The new rule encouraged a newbie to fight newbie unless they waved the right. The little girl, after listening to several people try to discourage her, waved the newbie protection clause.
“This is your first official match, and before the Newbie Protection act, only a few people won their first match. Are you 100% sure you want to do this, Anna Lee?” asked the old Judge a second time.
“I am absolutely super-duper sure!” she said happily.
“Let the little lady accept the challenge, I got other arena matches to attend.” Kid Göre said in annoyance in his voice. The Judge stared thoughtfully at her for a moment before allowing her to change her mind. He sighed and motioned for the two combatants to submit equipment and battle avatar inspection.
Kid Göre, invoking one of the new rules, asked for his equipment to be inspected in private. The old rules stated all inspections had to be open, and now if one combatant wanted his property inspected in private, both people got this right. Most combatants used this new rule, to keep a surprise factor in their arena fights. Now it came time for the arena location. The Judge held his key in the air, as the world around them transformed and faded away.
//(Announcer 1 and 2) Scary Hospital, scary hospital, scary hospital!//
When the world came into focus, Kid Göre was standing in front of a sign that read Jefferson Davis Hospital, his large war maul resting quietly against his shoulder.
//(Announcer 1 and 2) YEAH!!!! (Announcer 1) Kid Göre who has been quickly rising in the ranks of Fight Club is now fighting 10-year-old looking Anna Lee. (Announcer 2) Will this girl get hammered by Kid Bore or will newbie surprise us all? Current official betting on this match is now closed. Odd are currently 25:1 in favor of Kid Göre. (Announcer 1) Right you are Ken, for all your betting needs, please stop by Pax Ramona, officially sanctioned gambling house.//
Anna Lee moved quickly and positioned herself on top of the hospital near the air conditioners. She gingerly removed a coo-coo clock that was slung across her back and began to wind it up with a key around her delicate neck. As the little wooden doors opened up a wind-up mouse appeared and scurried out of the clock. The second hand began to move and after 15 more seconds a 2nd mouse appeared and scurried out of the clock. She then set the clock down to the side and pulled out her mini-notebook computer and powered it up. As her wind-up mouse population increased, screens labeled 1, 2, 3 etc began appearing on the screen of her pink computer. She then looked up as if looking into an invisible camera, smiled and waved bye, and her form faded into nothingness as she disappeared from the battlefield.
//(Announcer 1) Looks like Anna going to be playing hide-and-go-seek, so now we will turn our love and attention to Kid Göre.//
Kid Göre was watching the hospital carefully, looking for signs of movement. His battle instincts were shaped slowly over a long hard fought series of victories. There was a recent surge in combatants playing creepy children and each battle was won within in a few minutes or tended to drag out. He took his heavy ranged weapon, standard Army issue AT4, and charged it up. The green weapon was the standard issue for taking out tanks with its armor piercing 40mm shell.
“Are you going to make this easy or hard for me?” he yelled in no particular direction. His battle avatar, a seven-foot African white rhino pawed angrily at the ground. The faint outline of Anna appeared in the window on the 2nd floor of the Jefferson Davis Hospital. She was waving hi. Kid Göre fired his shoulder mounted weapon at her image. The sudden impact rocket rocked the hospital. He looked up at the billboard behind him, and it read: Kid Göre 777 / Anna Lee 777.
//(Announcer 2) How do you miss with a bazooka? (Announcer 1) Right you are Ken; he blew his load and nothing happened.//
He scratched his head in confusion, then glanced down at his AT4, the readout reading 30, and was counting down by seconds. His rhino started to pace back and forth, waiting for orders. It snorted and pointed its horn to something on the 3rd floor of the hospital. Kid Göre turned to the direction where his battle avatar was pointing. The girl was in the window trying to push it open, but she was too short to open it up properly.
“Can we play together?” she yelled down. Kid Göre glanced down again at the timer to his repeating rocket launcher, it had 15 seconds left.
“Hey, you little bitch, why dun you just come down here, so I dun have to run all over the place looking fur you!”
“You big meanie head that is not nice!” she yelled back. The countdown hit zero, and Kid Göre fired the 2nd shot. This time the shot fell short of the third floor and connected somewhere on the first floor. His ears and head dizzy from the first two shots; he tried to shake the feeling of nausea from firing such a devastating shoulder mounted weapon. She was still there, up in the window smiling at him. The billboard read: 771 Kid Göre / 777 Anna Lee. His rocket launcher was doing more damage to him, while she was left untouched, he would need it fix before next battle. There was only one decent guild that could do magical adjustments, but they tended to cost a fortune. He gritted his teeth, he would just have to finish this bitch off and get the adjustments later.
“I want to play a game, can we play catch?” she yelled down to him.
“Catch this!” he yelled back at her, firing a third rocket. This time the 40mm projectile found the window she was watching from. After the smoke cleared, she was still standing there, in the debris field.
“I am sooo sorry, I dropped it, and can you toss it back up to me?” she asked innocently. Kid Göre’s ears were pounding hard as they filled with blood. His eyes blazed pure hate and fire as she stood there, untouched by three rockets. Behind him, the HP counter clicked off another 3HP. She sat down and picked up a porcupine and began to cuddle it.
She was mocking him, daring him to fight her in close combat. Kid Göre gave a mental calculation of his odds and remembered most of these child-like combatants tended to fight in close combat and didn’t have ranged style attacked. His angry mind carefully calculated a plan; his timing had to be perfect. He mentally ordered his rhino to go to the back of the hospital and move up the stairs. It obeyed and ran off. The readout on his rocket launcher told him he had 14 seconds left.
“Ok, I’ll throw the ball up to you, get ready to catch it!” he yelled back at her. Her expression turned to delight as she dropped her poor avatar and jumped up holding out her hands ready. 11 seconds left. Somewhere in the distance, the ground was shaken by a loud explosion. The night was filled with the telltale outline of a mushroom cloud as it slowly rose behind the hospital.
“Whoop-sa-daisy I think I just broke your toy. Jus don’t tell my mommy, k?” She said innocently covering her face looking behind her. Kid Göre tried to mentally communicate with his avatar, but it was nothing but static. The timer read it was ready to fire. Kid Göre unleashed the fourth rocket hitting her directly. He threw it down in frustration as he tried once again to keep from throwing up. He picked up his heavy war maul, he had never had to use so many rockets in a fight and it was beginning to show. The area where the rocket impacted was still smoking as debris crashed everywhere.
Glancing behind him the billboard read Kid Göre 765 / Anna Lee 777, and there was a red “X” next to his name signaling his battle avatar was destroyed.
//(Announcer 1) Oh, it looks like Kid Dumbass shot his own avatar. (Close-up on his face showing him surprised) (Announcer 2) Suppose he tried to communicate with his avatar inside the hospital before he fired? (Announcer 1) I dunno, but I tend to lose signal in most hospitals. (Announcer 2) I never lose signal with Var-why-son Astral Service, for all your communication needs to contact your local dealer. (Announcer 1) Ken, how did you get so many endorsement contracts?//
Anna’s voice came from somewhere on the first floor, giggling playfully. Kid Göre charged up the steps of the old haunted hospital. Inside he found himself in a darkened lobby. The only light came from a broken light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The light flickered on and off, casting deep shadows as he caught sight of the little girl running down the lobby and into a nearby hall.
He followed the girl up the stairs and into the next hall. As he chased her down she ran into a room, his foot crushing broken debris. He crunched a sign that read MRI as she ran into a small room. Kid Göre bashed the door down with his war maul, the room was eerily empty. He slowly walked in, letting his eyes adjust to what little light that glowed from various medical equipment in the room. A little girl giggled from behind a long table of some sort. His cursed as his eyes finally adjusted to the low light. She little girl was behind the table. He raised his maul brought it down on the table, smashing it into the floor.
Kid Göre’s hand found a light switch and turned it on. He saw the room, which held a very large machine; that was donut shaped. The machine suddenly powered to life as it hummed loudly. Kid Göre felt his body being pulled towards the machine. He tried to use his massive strength to grab at the table, but he only managed to grab debris.
“If you didn’t destroy that table, you might have actually been able to stop yourself from being pulled by the magnetic resonance imaging machine.” Anna’s voice told him. Kid Göre’s own magical power belt, wrist bracers, and black steel-toed boots kept him pinned to the MRI that was whirling away. He tried to use his powerful muscles; it was of little use he was trapped. Squeaking wheels came down the hall as he saw the Anna pushing a small cart covered with a blue cloth. She stopped at the doorway.
“Now it is time for me to play catch with you!” she said. Anna pulled the blue cloth from her cart and revealing a collection of medical instruments. Reaching over, she picked up a razor sharp scalpel and tossed it towards Kid Göre. As it got in the MRI’s magnetic field the scalpel turned into a high-speed object and buried itself into his arm. He let out a scream as she tossed the second one. This one found his leg.
“I see you like hammers!” she said giving a big smile as she picked up a hammer and tossing it towards him. “Well, hammers are not very useful without nails, too.” She picked up a handful of nails and threw them at him.
“You crazy bitch, when I get out of this shit I’m going to rape your dead body!” he yelled at her through his pain. She smiled at him and tossed the rest of the medical instruments at him including other items such as piano wire and a handful of washers. They tore into his skin as he bellowed out more insults. Then she pushed the metal cart towards him, as it crashed into his body.
“BRB, I need to get sum more toys, k?” she said and scampered off out of the MRI lab. Kid Göre didn’t know how much time he had, but he had to act fast. With all his inner strength and power, he pulled his hand through his bracers. Blood ran down his wrists as he twisted and turned his hands attempting to free them from his protective gear. When his first hand was free he released the cuff that was keeping his other hand. Kid Göre, after what seemed like forever, was able to liberate his feet from his boots. The only thing left was his magical belt, which he had to leave on the MRI. He then looked around for a control panel or some kind of booth that operated the machine. He listened around the edge of the door, “Good, I can’t hear that little brat yet.” He thought to himself. He opened up the door that was MRI room and found what he was looking for.
Kid Göre experimented with some of the buttons and after a few more minutes he was able to turn the beastly machine off. His weapons crashed to the floor.
“I got some new toys! Hope you still wanna play,” yelled Anna down the hall happily. He put his belt back on and picked up his war maul. There was no telling how many HP he lost thanks to that little bitch, but he would have to close the gap in a hurry. He stood by the edge of the door and held his weapon aloft ready to bring it down on her skull. Her footsteps hit against the linoleum floor as she got closer. She was just outside of the door when something dropped to the floor with a loud crashed. It sounded like numerous metallic objects hitting the floor.
“One sec, I made a whoopsie-daisy, k?” she called out from around the corner. Kid Göre jumped around the corner expecting to see her on the floor picking up various metal objects. Instead, his eyes revealed a different scene. The hallway Kid Göre was standing in; had over 60 wind-up mice on the floor, walls and ceiling patiently waiting for his presence. Anna’s clock, kicked out another mouse as it added itself to the swarm. She was at the distant end of the hall waving at him happily, her battle avatar sitting on her shoulder. She turned and ducked out of the hallway on to the fire escape.
“Boom,” she said as her voice was being broadcast through one of the mice.
“Shit,” responded Kid in a voice that sounded like a 16-year-old whose voice was changing. The explosion from the explosive mice, combined with the previous four 40mm anti-tank rockets, were enough to bring down the weakened structure of the abandoned Jefferson Davis Hospital. As the structure’s foundation gave out, the rest of the building pancaked on top of itself.
Anna Lee was standing outside of the hospital before it collapsed, waving at it.
“Bye-bye, maybe we can play again sometime!” she shouted.
//(Announcer 1) Oh, what an upset, I haven’t seen slaughter since Lindsey Lohan got between Oprah and the last piece of cheesecake! Those explosive mice sure did the trick! (Announcer 2) I’m sure dropping an Oprah; uh I mean building on top of him didn’t help either. (Announcer 1) He should just give up his Veteran title and go back to the old title of “nightshift cashier”. (Both of the announcer’s chuckle)//
Kid Göre appeared in the Judge’s Hall. He was foaming at the mouth yelling at the old Judge accusing Anna of cheating. He was calling Anna every foul name he ever heard in his 16-years of life, and a few more he thought of, off the top of his head. The Judge patiently waited for him to calm down. He caught his breath, his mind racing on what to do next.
“She didn’t cheat, you were just outsmarted.” The Judge said calmly.
“Fine, where is she? I want to re-challenge her. She won by luck.” He angrily snapped back at the Judge.
“I assume you did read or have forgotten the new rule changes. If that is the case I will enlighten you to them. You may not re-challenge a combatant in a wager-style fight for a period of at least seven nights.”
Kid Göre cursed the senior Judge, though he knew he was correct about the new rule changes.
“This isn’t over, the bitch will pay,” Kid Göre yelled as he stormed out of the hall.
Dr. C. Cat (the one and only) is the first economic conservative cat blogger. While I was accused of not being a cat because I have paws, I laughed. I learned how to work around my disability, and make it an ability. If you wish to donate to me, please send me all the tuna you have in the house. I would be sure to send back an empty can so it can recycled.