Looking back to 2016…
i write this from my table in my hole. The Blessed Masters have allowed me 7.5 minutes of time where I am allowed to think for myself. i write from the year 100.45. The Blesses Masters have allowed me to use the archaic archives to look back at the imperfect year of 2016. i was given enough privilege to be allowed to access these records, Blessed are The Masters for allowing this humble peon to access the 21st-century records. i will scrub my eyes with bleach when finished.
Meanwhile in Russia…(translated from Russian)
“Jurij! You made the Imperialist Pravda again!” shouted a large man carrying a half empty bottle of vodka.
“Wat?” asked Jurij. The thin man in white Nike shoes looked up from his newly acquired 486DX computer. His thick Coke™-bottled glasses hid his blue eyes.
“They say that you hacked the voting machines in Imperialist America!” Sergej stated as he leaned across the old table. “Capitalist-KGB say you broke into their computer and changed the voting information.
Jurij scratches his chin for a moment to gather his thoughts, “Sergej, you idiot, I just got my new computer today. You remember, last week we got drunk off Mama’s homemade vodka and you started to sing communist anthem. It pissed off local bear.”
“Da, and you threw computer at bear! Then chased it away with Opa’s tractor!” said Sergej remembering.
From the top of the stairs came a loud scream, “JURIJ SERGEJ that old medved (The Blessed Masters said it means bear) is back!! Git outta my kitchen!”
Collective sigh, Sergej looks over and waves his bottle of vodka, “First we get drunk than fight bear!”