You write clearly and well N, about what is intuitively clear from living enough decades, and well supported by good recent research. Thirty-plus years of closeness with my author wife, Peggy Payne, has greatly strengthened my awareness and respect of the writing craft.
It’s daunting for many folks without the blessing of good interpersonal connection skills to make even one close friend. Your “kibbutz” structure sounds similar to some of the functions of interpersonal group therapy. I’ve led 3 to 5 weekly groups and 2 to 6 Full Day groups for about 40 years.
These groups have the additional structural guides of an experienced leader, and individual therapeutic goals of personal exploration and/or change in the only four areas a person can legitimately hope and learn to control/manage: their own behavior; their own feelings, emotional and physical; their own thoughts; and their own values, beliefs and attitudes, i.e. their personal “Shoulds” and “Shouldn’ts”. Group clients who arrange regularly to meet together outside the formal weekly meetings are usually more likely to carry their evolving skills of emotional intimacy back into their everyday lives.
I’m passing a link to your article along to a few friends and to clients through my blog. Thanks for writing it. Dr Bob