How to Stop Social Media from Ruining Your Life
Depression is spreading through American culture like wildfire.
I see it as a psychologist, a consumer, an observer of our culture and as my alter-blogging ego, the Social Media Lama.
Despite such remarkable advances in the diagnosis and treatment of depression, it seems as though more people are depressed than ever before.
Why is depression so widespread?
I’m going to share with you why social media and the media as a whole are increasingly responsible for depression’s attack on society and what you can do about it.
Once you understand how social media is hijacking your mental health, you can make smart adjustments to minimize its negative impact.
Why Social Media and the Media Are Making You Depressed and How You Can Overcome Their Negative Influence
1) Whether you realize it or not, social media is brainwashing you to believe that perfection is necessary for happiness.
Social media is constantly strengthening this association, especially photo-heavy sites like Instagram and Facebook, which are inundated with idealized versions of people and everyday experience.
Through the daily observation of your friends’ “perfect” lives and the subsequent pressure to look like you’re also living the ultimate life, you’re essentially being trained to adopt a perfectionistic standard for what life is supposed to look like.
Since the standards promoted via social media are essentially unachievable, those of us who don’t take mindful countermeasures will either exacerbate an existing depressive condition or pave the way for a more depressing life in the future.
The pressure to live up to a Kardashian-esque standard subtly depresses your mood and self-worth, even if you deny its influence.
The conscious manifestation of social-media-induced depression is felt as mild annoyance with someone else’s shared image of success or perfection, or a fleeting sense of longing to have what someone else has.
But make no mistake about it…the painful, perfectionistic and impossible standard harvested in your mind through social media wreaks havoc on your inner world behind the scenes.
Over time, it will put massive distance between your expectations for how reality is supposed to be and your actual experience of reality, especially if you don’t practice seeing through the grand social media illusion.
Perfection via Consumption
Companies are also perfecting their marketing pitches aimed at convincing you that happiness and perfection can only be bought.
Daily exposure to images of perfection has the power to make you unhappy and unaccepting of who you are and what you have.
So what’s the solution?
Fight social-media-induced depression like this…
- Strive toward authenticity in your own life. The more true you are to yourself, the easier it will be to see through false appearances. You’ll see right through the illusion of perfection shown on image-heavy sites. If you’re authentic (and you convey it via social media), then you’ll function as a mirror reflecting back to others their own deception.
- Make yourself painfully aware of the price you and others pay for placing such a high value on a state of perfection.
- Learn to embrace your imperfections by posting imperfect photos on social media. For an easy way to do this, take a look at my suggestions for how to take a healthy selfie.
- Develop a strong observing self that studies your own reactions to advertising. I’ve learned to giggle to myself when I feel the appealing pull of an ad to buy something. If you practice observing your reactions to appealing media pitches, you won’t fall for the allure and promise embedded in advertising.
- Most importantly, strive to avoid judging people who fall for the allure of superficial appearances. Embrace them with empathy and understanding. This will help you in your own process of judging yourself less harshly. For more on this, see one of my favorite posts called, “Your Habit of Pointing Out Other People’s Faults Is Ruining Your Life.”
- If you’re in a sensitive phase where people’s feeds bother you more than usual, take a break from social media. Remove the app from your phone for a week or two. (Note: I’m not going to tell you to stop checking your Facebook feed all together because I know it’s a reality of the modern digital lifestyle.)
2) Social media creates the illusion that your life is riddled with problems.
Western culture is obsessed with labelling everything as a problem.
Our system for medical diagnosis and treatment disease is based on finding problems.
Turn on any “fix it” reality show, daytime talk show, news program or just about anything you view on a screen. You’ll witness people obsessed with making changes to problems.
The problem with being brainwashed to search for problems is that it convinces you that you’re not supposed to struggle.
This mentality opposes self-acceptance and leads you to believe that suffering shouldn’t be a part of life.
In fact, this forced focus on labelling everything as a problem leads people to avoid problems.
Add the perfectionistic ideals transmitted via social media to the cultural push to see everything as a problem and you have the perfect storm for depression.
Why is this the ultimate formula for depression?
Because if you’re constantly comparing your current reality to an unattainable, perfectionistic standard, then you’re going to find a lot of problems!
Think of how many times a day you label something as a problem. If you hunt for problems, you will create problems.
Wow, look how skinny she is in her bikini. My body is a problem.
Look how happy they look together on vacation. My relationship is not like theirs. It’s a problem.
I should feel happy today. It’s a problem.
A problem-focused mentality promotes depression, shame, guilt and powerlessness, which obstruct your ability to make changes to correct what you consider a problem.
What’s the solution?
- Challenge yourself to stop using the word “problem.” You’ll promote greater self-acceptance and less shame.
- Accept the imperfect nature of your physical being and your life in general. Pay very close attention to the way you feel when you visit Instagram or Facebook. The observing self I referred to earlier will allow you to question why you’re suddenly preoccupied with your imperfections after seeing “perfect” people their lifestyles in pictures.
- Switch “problems” to “challenges”to give yourself a sense of personal control and hope. Challenges also promote the practice of searching for the lessons learned after the threat of the challenge is reduced.
Perfectionistic Standards + Problem Seeking = Holy shit! I am so depressed.
It doesn’t have to be this way if you can begin to accept that perfection is unattainable.
Imperfection is perfection!
If you stop labelling everything as a problem, you’ll feel more empowered to do something about the things you actually can change.
At a minimum, be choosy with what you verbalize to be a problem.
Depression is a part of everyday life and it exists in varying degrees. It’s not a binary decision of whether you’re depressed or not.
When depression makes it hard to function, work with it rather than against it.
Fighting depression begins with acceptance of what is as a starting point.
Please share your thoughts, opinions and experiences below. This post is intended to open a much-needed discussion.
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Originally published at techealthiest.com.
