Stuck in a rut. So I wrote my way out.
We all know the feeling of being stuck in a rut. Personal, professional, health, exercise, relationship — they come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they sneak up on you slowly over time. Sometimes you stumble and fall into them so fast you never see them coming.
I’ve been self-employed for 10 months now, and I’m still really loving the challenge. Everyday is different, and I’m constantly learning new things. It’s hard, but most days I love it. Overall, it has felt like the antithesis of a rut.
But when I finally took a moment to poke my head up out of the mounds of client projects, marketing strategies, networking meetings — and of course the various banalities of things like bookkeeping, and emails — I was startled to find myself in a rut. A really big one.
It’s been months since I’ve really sat down to consciously work on my writing. Heck, it’s been months since I’ve written anything of substance. (And before you ask, no, emails, text conversations and Twitter gif battles don’t count…)
Even more distressing, I hadn’t written anything for ME. All of my words put to paper were for clients. Nothing I was regularly working on was honing my writing, or my video creation.
Essentially, I’d stopped investing time and energy into the most important part of my business. Me.
Here I found myself in that familiar rut of putting others before myself, and not placing as much value on my own craft as on other people’s projects.
I was stuck in a rut of not writing because I didn’t want to write; because I didn’t see the point; because it no longer felt comfortable. It’s no wonder I’ve felt stuck and out of practice. Like I wasn’t a writer anymore.
They say writers write. But if I’m not writing, does that make me not a writer anymore?
The thing I’ve found about the habit of writing is it’s really easy to stop doing it, and really hard to start again.
I was talking to my colleague (and soon to be Podcast co-host…more on that soon,) Katie Linder the other day about feeling out of sync with writing and she reminded me, wisely, that writing is like a muscle. It requires attention, use, and consistency to strengthen it.
As an avid runner, basketball player, and strength training aficionado, this shouldn’t scare me. I know the uncomfortable feeling of a long run after not pounding the pavement in too long. I know the familiar aches and pains the next day when looking back and thinking: “Ow. Why did I do that?!” And I know that those aches and pains are more a repercussion of having stopped running in the first place, than they are the act of starting again.
But I’m also very familiar with the rush you get from doing a hard thing.
Despite not wanting to do the workout, there’s immense pride in sucking it up and doing it anyway. And it’s always amazing to me how quickly I can get back in the habit when I get off my butt and try again.
So I’m getting off my butt, and writing my way out of this rut. It’s gonna be a little rough at first, I’m sure. I’m gonna fall off the wagon again. My writing muscle is gonna cramp up from time to time. And I’m gonna need a rest day here and there.
But it’s also going to feel really good to get out of that rut, and to just embrace the joy of having written something, even (and especially) if it sucks.
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