Tom Hanks is a down-on-his luck actor who delves into method acting by becoming the serial killer Forrest Gump. You see what I’m putting down here? The two people are separate, but ultimately the same.
It’s like “Psycho” meets “Wolverine” but it’s not “Psycho.” Well, it’s like “Psycho” but it’s not Norman Bates because that would be copyright infringement or something. So, it’s like origin story of Norman Bates without being Norman Bates.
Also, this is a comedy. Really it’s a buddy comedy with cameos for Tom Hanks’ Forrest Gump serial killer. Forrest Gump is a travelling serial killer without a driver’s license, so he always has to take the bus. Everyone knows that buses are the shit when it comes to meeting really fucking crazy people, so that’s how we get all the cameos for Forrest Gump’s sidekicks. Forrest / Tom rides across America meeting new people then murdering them. But he almost always misses the next bus because he bungles the murder clean up!
After a string of “ho-hum” slaughters (featuring Angela Landsbury AS HERSELF), Tom Hanks pulls himself out of the Forrest Gump role very briefly. He’s jaded and disillusioned with what he’s become and in a series of window-reflected close ups, the audience finds themselves feeling Hanks’ pain in being Gump.
It’s in Savannah, Georgia where Hanks / Gump meets Fresh Air’s Terry Gross. Gump of course wants to kill her, that’s just his M.O. However, Terry Gross reveals that she’s actually failed actress “Maria Schriver” (but not the famous Maria Schriver), and Hanks sees a bit of himself in Terry Gross / “Maria Schriver”. Hanks / Gump tells her about the alternate personality and the two fall in love as Hanks symbolically missed his scheduled departure for the next town (probably Chattanooga, TN).
Here’s where you cream your Twinkies (R.I.P.)! After planning a life of being failed theater people, Hanks PROPOSES to “Schriver!” And she says “YES!” despite all of the murders that she may or may not know about — I haven’t really decided what would work best for the ultimate twist ending! SO FINALLY, the day of the Hanks / “Schriver” wedding, Tom slips back into his Gump role AND FUCKING MURDERS THE SHIT OUT OF “SCHRIVER” BECAUSE TOM HANKS IS FORREST GUMP. BOOOOOOOOOING — SURPRISE MURDER!
Tagline: “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” or something like that.
