8 Concrete, No BS Ways To Stop Overparenting Your Kids

Listen to a podcast episode expanding on this here!

So many parents are stressed, overwhelmed and guilty nowadays, which I attribute directly to our child-centered culture. Parents feel that they must enrich, validate, and engage with their kids constantly, which is very different from previous eras of child-rearing. Parents today struggle with knowing how to get their kids to play independently (I tackle that here) or fight their own battles. This leads to kids feeling fragile, dependent on adults to meet even their most fleeting “need” (aka want), and anxious about growing up. But the effects of overparenting aren’t only bad for kids’ sense of burgeoning self-reliance.

If you allow parenting to grow all encompassing, you and your partner (or you, yourself, and your friends/family/interests if you’re single) have no time without the constant pressure of attending to your kids. This hyperfocus on the children to the exclusion of the self/couple is bad for your marriage, your self-esteem, and your children’s sense of calm and confidence in the world. Many overparented kids that I see as young adults do not want kids themselves, because their parents’ lives seemed so burdened and uninteresting, filled with only work and childcare. Imagine being so consumed with your kids that, while they don’t doubt your love for them for a…