GROWING UP

Walking into the first day of elementary school, I remember seeing the fifth graders as the biggest and scary people i’ve ever seen. Walking into the first day of 5th grade, I remember looking at the little kindergartners thinking “damn, was I ever that small?” We go from being at the top of the food chain, to right back at the bottom at the blink of an eye. It happens in our life 3 (or 4, you’ll understand in a second) separate times; elementary school, middle school, high school; then college. As each phase ends, I think of it kind of like a reflection stage where the past few years you just sit there and reminisce/reflect on what really happened. After elementary school you don’t really have much to think about/reflect on because you’re still trying to figure out if light up shoes are going to be cool or not. After middle school you still don’t really have much to worry about because you’re still wondering when you will be able to grow facial hair. For me, high school was the first time I was really truly able to reflect on the past 4 years. Whether it was because of the experiences I went through my senior year that changed my life forever, maybe it was because I was about to head off to college, maybe it was because I matured a little bit, or maybe it was because I was actually aware and able to appreciate what this life has given me. Regardless the reason, at this point when I was reflecting on the 4 years of my high school career-I realized one thing..That one thing was “Holy shit-where did time go?” I remember telling my mom this-that high school literally flew by so fast, and she looked at me and said “Yeah..That’s life. Everything from here on out will be like that and only continue to go by faster and faster.” Sitting here now as a senior in college graduating in 8 months (WTF), I now realize that’s one of the realest and truest things that my mother has told me (and she’s given me ridiculous amounts of wisdom over the years). So reflecting on all that-my advice to anybody younger or even older than me, enjoy THE PRESENT, and what’s going on RIGHT NOW. Don’t be sitting their regretting the past or being mad at what could have been, be happy for what IS-don’t stress about what could be.

SO, going back to what I was saying about going through the food chain phase (bottom to the top and back to the bottom) 3 or 4 times in life is because of this huge epiphany that shadowed over my noggin this year. Being a freshman in college, I remember how important it was for me to fit in, have friends, join clubs, etc. I did these things because I wanted to be “cool” and “fit in”. I didn’t do these things because I liked them or they made me happy (some of them did, not all). I remember looking at the seniors like wow they’re so cool and I can’t wait to be that cool and to have this sort of superiority over everybody younger than me in the school. Well, now i’m a senior, and I see these little freshman (they literally look like infants it’s actually crazy..there’s no way I looked like that I had a chin strap..right?) I know they look at me and my friends with a look of “I know i’m at the bottom of the food chain leave me alone” and i’m just sitting here like i’m not even hungry little homie relax! Senior year of high school-I took advantage of being at the top of the food chain in every way possible. Now, being 22, I don’t even care that i’m at the top of the food chain. I don’t even care if I fit in (clearly considering I have dreads) I don’t even care if I have 300 friends-I’d rather have two best friends than a 100 fake friends. I don’t care if my socks don’t match when I go to class, I don’t care if all my clothes are from thrift shops and my shoes are all used. I don’t care about a lot of things that I used to care about in high school-in the sense that the things I used to care about were so irrelevant to life in general. The things I care about today are the things that make me happy, the things that’ll help me and my business move forward in the industry, I care about things that I enjoy and that make me laugh and smile, I enjoy people that are true and genuine to me and don’t like me for what I have to offer but who I am as a person. I care about making others feel welcomed and making other people happy-which makes me happy. Most of all, I care about making my parents proud of the person that they’ve sacrificed their life to raise. Just being honest, I was a rebel in high school and really didn’t respect my parents as much as a should have. I was a damn fool for being that person and thinking how I did back then, I wouldn’t be where I am today without my parents. Some people aren’t fortunate enough to have such amazing people like my parents in their life so that right there is enough for me to be thankful for. The list goes on and on for the things that I now care about, but it’s completely different things than what I cared about in high school.

Realizing all of this is honestly the first time I can reflect on myself and be like “Damn dude, you’ve really done some growing up.” It took 22 years, and know I still have a ton left to do.