Time is slipping away every second. Sometimes I feel that “ what am i doing feeling ?” . Everything seems to be in vain, when I see it that way. Its like no matter what i do, its going to come to an end, No matter what i dream or feel or think or anything it will end. Yet though it ends , it begins again after awhile and then ends , then begins.
Its like i am going round and round and round in circles. Although I know I am going and round and round, it seems like i still don’t know. At least not all of me know.
Sometimes i even doubt that, what if i am wrong. Okay, “ what if” such a dangerous word. So much power. makes you dream and live in thoughts so much and then the circles goes round.
Talking about this moment. Its just so quite but noisy, so noisy. No, its not the environment but the sounds the thoughts pollution in my mind.
I can come out of it and see. How it thinks and how it wants to stop thinking but it is still thinking that and then if forgets and gets distracted and thinks some more.
So addicted to thinking. Thinking is its drug. Such a powerful one. Probably one we all take in. think and think and think and ?
FEEL . Start to feel emotions. sometime it comes spontaneously because of some event that we witness, those seems to be more natural but most of the time.
It seems as if my mind is doing all the work even that one. Yet we don’t know. we don’t know ourselves.
We just are puppets of our thoughts . We dance and our consciousness gets raped every day. Yet we never see it we just don’t see.
Closed. We are closed to our own selves.
How ? how to be free of all this?
I don’t know, I am a puppet too. maybe I am less caught up then you , or more then you I don’t even know that. There’s no “the one” yard stick I can measure it with.
Yet for me. I see so much in myself but now at this moment i feel i am able to let it be. accept myself. Don’t mistaken it with getting attached and used to it. but simply let it pass through.
Yet it also takes time like everything else in the universe. So i just want and be patience and accept some more and some more. Learn some more and some more. Enjoy some more some more Every second, every minute , every day.