MY 17 YEARS LONG CRUSH
This is the story about the longest crush I’ve ever had. I have always been a shy guy, ever since I can remember. I had to build my confidence from scratch and that was pretty hard. But enough about myself.
Now, during my kindy years, I’ve had a crush on this girl and I liked to think that it was her(at that age,can’t really remember clearly) because we were in the same Kindy.Fast forward,I had this crush on Her for the entire High school,from Sec 1 to 5. I’m 22 this year and it’s been 17–18 years now? I wanted to tell her, and there were so many times which I nearly did, but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have the money (20$ monthly allowance),didn’t have a phone like all the other kids, couldn’t take her out etc. I waited and waited for me to grow more to gain the strength so that I could have the confidence to tell her. Kinda old school, I know. She was a great swimmer and such a soulful musician and I was just so way out of her league.That’s what WAITING can do to you.
After high school, I didn’t see her anymore. Never got the chance to. Either I was not in town or she wasn’t. Tried messaging once but she never replied. Maybe,she already had someone.Only recently, she posted her relationship status on facebook. Attached. And how did I feel?
Sad, of course….Heartbroken. Devastated.When I had the chance, I never told her because I thought that it wasn’t the right time. But after that, I had no more chance. So maybe, the right time was when I had the chance to tell her but I let it just slip past me? Nonetheless, I am relieved for her at the same time. I’m happy that she’s found somebody. She’s a nice girl and she’s deserves to have everything.
I flash backed to the moments that she played on stage and our eyes locked. And in that moment, where our souls and eyes connected, I told her GOODBYE. Goodbye… thanks for making me a better man.thanks for being there even when u weren’t.You have always been there for me.Everywhere I go and everything I DO.And at that moment,I let you go.
I dedicate this song to you and only you,
“Damien Rice — The Blower’s Daughter.”