Approaching what she terms “a crossroads in the relationship” Manhattan PR Director Michelle Flores, 26, gave up on boyfriend of five months, Dario Frances, after his failure to heed a basic command.

“I mean, look, he’s a great guy and an amazing listener. But there’s only so many times he can get it wrong before I start to lose faith.”

The couple cites a Peaches & Cream video tutorial, a cherry stem-tying article they found once, and 45 straight days of bickering abstinence as proof the effort is there.

“At a certain point, yea, you do wonder if you’ll ever do it properly,” explained Frances, a recently promoted sales associate and varsity wrestling record-holder.

“I wouldn’t say I feel pressure but when she lets out that big sigh and wraps herself in a sheet cocoon, it’s not exactly a confidence boost.”

That’s the least of his worries, according to Frances, who now reports chronic jaw pain, sprained tongue ligaments and involuntary cross-eye since taking this on.

During a tense car ride to Larry and Estelle’s engagement dinner, Frances copped to feeling defeated. To which an indignant Flores huffed, “My luck, the one time you repress your need to please…”

Admitting that was a low blow, the upstart exec further revealed:

“Camping out my legs under 200 wheezing pounds of sweat doesn’t rate as high as visiting Six Flags, ok? But I take that for the team and try my best not to doze off for seven — seven and a half minutes.”

And the precious few times she spies light at the end of her tunnel, Flores has purred an exasperating plea, to almost no effect.

Right there.

Don’t stop.

“Sometimes, if he’s feeling pouty, I’ll double down on ‘right there’ and go easy with the ‘don’t stop.’ That seems to help, although either way, I’m let down. I shut my eyes tight because that alarm clock stares at me, blinking.”

Flores and Frances have dashed college reunion plans to surprise friends who predicted they’d look “kind of cute together, right?”

Both describe going in another direction as the best possible outcome, and report zero regrets.

“There’s something poetic about closure,” offered Flores, whose new partner, Kris the jazz flautist, makes great eggs Benedict.