Stop Making Everything Perfect For Your Kid

Quick story: I’m on an airplane and the child behind me is kicking my seat and the mom is doing nothing. I turn around and look directly at the child with a stern look on my face and tell the kid to stop kicking the back of my seat. My rule is engage the child first and treat them maturely. Second rule, if the behavior continues only then do I engage the parent. If a parent supersedes prior to rule 2 being initiated, I calmly explain the matter is between me and the child.

Most parents are generally appreciative of real world feedback that is lacking in the lives of many children. In my experience if I treat a child maturely they tend to act more mature.

In the story above, the pool attendant need only tell the ego-driven father: your kid stops running, or you both leave the pool.

All else is just parental posturing.

Parents do not get to supersede social rules and liability rules (in the case of a pool).

Is this a trend with “helicopter parents”? I have no idea, as I do not have kids. I can only defer to my own upbringing.

But, I do know that daddies & mommies will always try to intervene on their child’s behalf. It is an evolutionary-wired imperative.

Look no further than the recent Stanford rape case. Parents unknowingly attempt to project their biased view of their child onto others, when the reality is much different.

Rape is NOT running at the pool. But, I see no fundamental difference of pleading with a judge vs. intimidating a pool attendant. Parents will plead or threaten depending on the authority of the person they are attempting to influence and manipulate.

Children acting out runs a spectrum. Low on that spectrum is running at the pool. High on that spectrum is rapping unconscious women. Regardless, authorities intervene in both cases and the reprimand is directed at the offender.

How would the Stanford case be different if judge Aaron Pesky was threatened, as with the story above?

Patents who understand navigating a world of authority understand parenting. Parents who do not understand have some dilusions and biases to overcome. Apples may not fall far from tree’s, but we all still have to navigate the world of authority.