On #MeToo …
Another day, another dollar, second verse same as the first. I’m categorically opposed to sexual harassment, abuse, sexual assault, and intimate partner violence, but stuff like this is why I can’t take hashtag and social media activism seriously:
I’ve been sexually harassed and abused in intimate relationships; the former by men, the latter by women. So, #MeToo , I guess. Except, I can’t say it, because some (almost all, actually) of my abusers have been women. Because, somehow, that would be derailing and bad. It’s the same narrative each and every time, regardless of details: women can’t be perceived as perpetrators, ever, and damn any victim who says otherwise.
It’s why these people never discuss, and fight tooth and nail to keep from discussing, abuse and assault in lesbian relationships.
Sexual violence affects every demographic and every community - including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer…www.hrc.org
National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center University of Missouri at St. Louis What is lesbian partner…mainweb-v.musc.edu
Domestic abuse doesn't discriminate. Domestic Abuse is a serious issue among lesbians, gay men, bisexual, and…www.mcedv.org
The UK Home Office defines domestic violence and abuse as: 'Any incident, or pattern of incidents, of controlling…www.stonewall.org.uk
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. This month is a reminder that through a combination of stigma and myths…www.nclrights.org
It’s why these people are nothing short of hyperactive discussing same-sex abuse and assault in (gay male) interactions and relationships.
To feelings of self-blame and self-loathing attached to their sexuality. There is already enough homophobic sentiment…www.mscasa.org
A dancer at the Abbey, a gay bar in West Hollywood "You want some help with that?" seems like a harmless, unsuspecting…www.vice.com
When I was 22 years old, I was sexually harassed while working as a server at a well known chain restaurant. I'll save…www.huffingtonpost.com
Consider the source. Then, of course, we have the clamor about prison (necessarily male-on-male) rape:
Just weeks after he entered the Texas prison system at age 19, Kerry Max Cook says he was gang-raped by fellow inmates…abcnews.go.com
In June of 2012, the New York Times "Room for Debate" feature considered whether or not convicted youth offenders…www.thenation.com
Today, the ACLU announced that it is filing a federal lawsuit on behalf of prisoners at the East Mississippi…gawker.com
Again, consider the source and the language. Left-leaning sources are all too quick to remind people men can be victims of sexual harassment, abuse, and assault…but only so long as the perpetrator is not a woman. Then, amid the Weinstein scandal, there’s this:
A BAFTA-nominated filmmaker has opened up about the PTSD he has suffered after a drunken woman sexually assaulted him…www.pinknews.co.uk
Frank McGowan, 36, from Glasgow, was attacked by Cheryl Cottrell at a party She sexually attacked him in the kitchen…www.dailymail.co.uk
A man has described how he felt 'raped' by a woman who violently sexually assaulted him after finding out he was gay…metro.co.uk
It’s all reporting of the same incident. How the poor guy “felt raped”? Going out of one’s way to describe the instance of a woman forcefully penetrating a man as “sexual assault” as opposed to “rape”? Scottish law defining rape as the non-consensual penetration by a penis? Not even in US law, or as advocated by anti-sexual assault organizations, is “rape” defined as anything but the penetration of a perpetrator against a non-consenting victim.
Sexual assault can take many different forms, but one thing remains the same: it's never the victim's fault. The term…www.rainn.org
Hell, the CDC, when compiling and publishing the National Intimate Partner and Violence Survey (NISVS), has to utilize an entirely unique category of sexual assault called “made to penetrate”. Guess which gender is the chief perpetrator, and which gender is the chief victim, of this form of sexual assault.
You’d think these folks would at least give a shit about lesbian harassment, abuse, and assault, because at least the victims are women. Nope, apparently male victims of male-perpetrated abuse are more important than recognizing all female victims. They don’t even play the “internalized misogyny” card to recognize lesbian abuse, but blame men for it anyways under the catch-all term “patriarchy”.
It only “counts” when women are victimized by men, and when men are victimized by men. It’s not about caring about the plight of women in society, because otherwise lesbian abuse would be at least acknowledged. And, it’s clearly not about supporting victims’ rights and empowering victims to speak up, because otherwise male victims of female-perpetuated abuse would not be shamed and insulted into silence as well.
No, this is about othering and dehumanizing men, and perpetuating a stereotype women cannot be perpetrators of harassment, abuse, and assault. As it always has been.
Women victims of male-perpetrated harassment, abuse, and assault, I’m with you. I’ve been a victim myself, I can empathize. I’ll listen. I do my best to support victims. I stand against abuse, because I’ve been abused myself. I’ll believe people like the individual who authored the aforementioned tweet are, when I see them not silencing and denigrating victims who do not fit their narrative.