The Eagle Shield – Medium

The Eagle Shield

The Eagle Shield

If you’re wearing earmuffs this winter, you’re either un-American or un-man.

Nothing makes me feel more patriotic than watching my ears start white, get red, and end up blue.

Jan 22, 2018

If you’re wearing earmuffs this winter, you’re either un-American or un-man.

Jan 22, 2018

The Eagle Shield

Net Neutrality? Not on MY iPad Mini.

If you think I’m gonna call the Internet “they/them,” you’ve got another somethin’ slappin’, sweetheart.

Dec 19, 2017

Net Neutrality? Not on MY iPad Mini.

Dec 19, 2017

The Eagle Shield

#MeToo: I, Buck Crimshaw, grabbed the barmaid’s rump roast when the power went out at Ruth’s Chris…

I’d say, “So, sue me” but I’m kind of in between attorneys right now.

Nov 26, 2017

#MeToo: I, Buck Crimshaw, grabbed the barmaid’s rump roast when the power went out at Ruth’s Chris…

Nov 26, 2017

The Eagle Shield

Hey, I’ve got a healthcare plan.

It’s called “There’s an ice pack in the freezer” and we’ve been doing it since Ike.

Jul 3, 2017

Hey, I’ve got a healthcare plan.

Jul 3, 2017

The Eagle Shield

Sean Spicer needs a replacement.

And I know a self-employed empty-nester with resolved anger issues looking to write the third act of his forthcoming biopic.

Jun 26, 2017

Sean Spicer needs a replacement.

Jun 26, 2017

The Eagle Shield

I just heard they’re playing hockey in Tennessee in June and you better believe I’ve got some…

Here’s something I’m not backing off of: ice is the enemy.

Jun 15, 2017

I just heard they’re playing hockey in Tennessee in June and you better believe I’ve got some…

Jun 15, 2017

The Eagle Shield

“I Expect Loyalty” — This guy with the hair is starting to sound like my second wife, Bethaline…

One thing I want to be clear on right out the box on this issue is that I’m impartial, okay? I don’t choose sides, unless they’re mac and…

Jun 9, 2017

“I Expect Loyalty” — This guy with the hair is starting to sound like my second wife, Bethaline…

Jun 9, 2017

The Eagle Shield

USA drops to #7 in Best Countries ranking. We need an independent investigation, pronto.

This is a textbook hatchet job by the Swiss.

Mar 8, 2017

USA drops to #7 in Best Countries ranking. We need an independent investigation, pronto.

Mar 8, 2017

The Eagle Shield

I saw way too many clean foreheads out there yesterday and now I’m heated.

America has become a vain and faithless waiting room for Hell.

Mar 3, 2017

I saw way too many clean foreheads out there yesterday and now I’m heated.

Mar 3, 2017

The Eagle Shield

I’ll tell you about the Bowling Green Massacre, because I was there and it was real.

Three things I’ll never forget: the first time I saw Rudy, those batting cages in Tampa where I was born again in Christ, and the Bowling…

Feb 4, 2017

I’ll tell you about the Bowling Green Massacre, because I was there and it was real.

Feb 4, 2017

The Eagle Shield

The Eagle Shield

A blog founded by Buck Crimshaw, 30-year veteran of news punditry and the official thought pope of The American Way. ***SATIRE*** Written by Nick Matthews.

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