Damn, Talia, I feel you.
I grew up in the Bay Area (and have since joined the Portland-bound migration), and that is an expensive as shit place to live, and only getting worse.
I also made some major tactical errors getting myself set up, both after grad school and after my divorce. As a result, I have a terrifying/comical/unreal amount of debt, in spite of working in the theoretically-lucrative tech industry.
You have my sympathy, for sure.
You don’t say if you’re looking for advice, and as I haven’t pulled myself out of the hole I dug when I was younger and more naive, I probably shouldn’t be giving any, anyway. :)
Good luck to you. The job market is crap, housing costs a fortune, and the Bay Area is in general a really tough place to make it, especially on your own.