My Painful Journey To The Butcher

Though butchers usually cut and sell meat from a dead animal, this butcher was selling life.

Her journey started from within. With the help of electricity, chemistry, a collaboration of chromosomes, and a mesmerizing combination of genes, the thing became a person.

I always knew that my path would be unpleasant with a little reward towards the end. The long list of discomforts suffered by me won’t compare to what I endured while I hosted her wonderful parasitic self.

Death by living.

The new morning routines were torturous. The inability to contain urine, vomiting, fearing the toothbrush (even the thought of brushing my teeth would make me gag). Not being able to eat what I wanted for the same thing that averted me from brushing. Beautiful!

My body was too heavy for my feet to hold, I was facing a motor dilemma. Do I drag myself or do I crawl? I chose the least humiliating of two evils, I crawled.

I used to cry in silence due to the pain in my feet. Then one day, I decided to use crutches. That was both a spectacular decision and a glorious day! I was happy :)

Cut me and get it out!

I can’t breathe.

What’s going on?

It’s time, I think…

I am so afraid right now.

What happened to my face?

This is not right. I guess I’m driving to the hospital.

Please, not another false alarm.

I feel so alone. My feet hurt so much. I need help!

“ your blood pressure is too high. We might have to induce delivery”.

“She’s not dilating”.

“We need to perform a C-section so that the baby and you can survive”.

I’m going through this because I LOVE YOU.

“Look at you daughter”.

I need to vomit.

I was holding both the beginning of my death and and my immortality wrapped in a hospital blanket. She smelled like a new version of me. A cosmic joke, a drama, a tragedy. The embodiment of a crashing asteroid into earth’s atmosphere. Rock and roll, baby.

She is the cosmos and hell in my heart. The most brutal miracle. My baby girl.

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