A…Change

Edward Von Ruckus
Aug 28, 2017 · 2 min read

No matter how much I’ve tried, I can’t get over the mental block of who I was, how my channel was built, and where it all is now.

I started streaming in March of 2011. For the longest time I played variety until I got hooked onto Minecraft later that fall, and achieved partnership with the game in November of that year. Sub buttons weren’t a guarantee with partnership back then, so it wasn’t until May 2013 that I achieved sub button status. Yet despite all that success, despite all of the incredible things I was able to do, it doesn’t help with where I am now. I am grateful for everything I was able to do, but recently I’ve mentally struggled with who I am.

Despite telling myself to just have fun and stream for fun, the big lumbering number of followers and my former fame under the name EddieRuckus is a constant battle I’ve struggled with for the past 2–3 years. I would wager that 75–85% of my following and success came solely from Minecraft, and no matter how much I try to change my direction both channel wise and mentally, I can’t escape it. It eats at me, tears me apart, and doesn’t allow me to have the one thing I should always have while streaming: fun.

That is why I’m creating a new channel, since Twitch isn’t able to remove all of my followers despite asking to do so. I don’t mind losing viewers, I don’t mind losing followers, I want to be able to stream without that being in the back of my mind. And for some reason, a new channel seems to offer my mentality and the way MY brain works that option.

I’m not closing down EddieRuckus, but I’m going to start streaming from a new channel to start a transition over to it. Eventually, down the road(possibly 2018), I won’t be streaming from EddieRuckus anymore, but not anytime in the near future. Later on in the transition, I will only stream on EddieRuckus for MC only, as that was what the channel was built upon. For those that want to unsub, you are welcome to, or unfollow, I am totally ok with it. I will never use any partner perks as I make this transition, and if Twitch decides to remove partnership during this time I have accepted that as a possibility as well.

Think what you will, try to convince me otherwise if you want, directly or indirectly question why a streamer would do this all you want on social media or on your own streams. I am not concerned with what others think, what others will preach from this, and what others want from this. I need to do what’s right for me, mistake or not, because if I don’t I fear I may stop streaming forever. This new channel, as said before, will help me find what I lost when I started: fun.

)

Edward Von Ruckus

Written by

Gaming geek/music nerd extraordinaire. Livestreamer on Twitch.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade