Introducing General Scruffoski“The International Space Station has been stolen.”

Wentworth ran his paw through his hair in distress and took a drink of water from the glass next to him. A silence filled the conference room and all the members of the canine division looked at each other in confusion. After what seemed like an eternity, Rufus from I.T. asked: “Excuse me, sir. But who has stolen the International Space Station and if I may ask…Why?”

Wentworth composed himself and tightened his tie and spoke: “Ah, yes. I do apologise. I have not yet explained fully.” He took hold on the projector remote again and brought up another file. This time it was of a cat and I did not like what I was looking at…Not one bit. On the screen was a blurry mug shot of a dastardly, lanky, skinny cat who looked like he had not bathed in days. The cat on the screen had a long, frizzy beard that came to a point at the bottom of his chin and his eyes were yellowed and bloodshot. His eyebrows were nearly as thick as his beard and shaped his evil, little eyes. He also had a ring around his left ear and on his right ear there was what looked like a bite mark at the tip. I fidgeted uncomfortably in my chair as I looked at his smile which was what spooked me the most. His thin, cracked lips drew a smile over a few pointed, black teeth. His smile just said to me: “I am going to be your worst nightmare.”

I got over myself and said to Wentworth: “Who is this cat, Wentworth?” He explained: “Izzy, we have known of this cat for several months now but we did not think he would pose danger to this extent. This cat is a notorious general named Scruffoski. He is a decendent from the last Tsar of Russia and has been hellbent on reinstating his name and finding vast, vast amounts of wealth and fortune ever since. We may refer to him as an oligarch as his power is slowly penetrating the government in Russia. General Scruffoski has a huge armed force which, we believe, he intends to use to extend his empire across the world.”

Wentworth then turned to Susie in Intelligence who explained to us why exactly this General Scruffoski has stolen the International Space Station. She stood up straight, cleared her throat and explained: “Intelligence found indicates that Scruffoski has developed some advanced technologies and software that is being utilised in the Space Station as we speak. Scruffoski and his militants have placed a huge laser beam in the earth’s atmosphere that is set…To change the Earths climate in a way that will devastatingly alter the world as we know it today. We believe Scruffoski has imprisoned many of the astronauts in the Space Station along with our own Major Tim Pug who is in a hostage situation so we do not retaliate drastically.”

Peggy interjected Susie’s talk with: “Why exactly does he want to…alter the climate? I fail to understand.”

Susie nodded and continued: “Scruffoski is an oil baron. He makes his fortune through the finding and selling of oil. Our intelligence indicates that Scruffoski is going to alter the climate to flood oil fields in places of high amounts of oil such as the Middle East. He will flood them and this will stop them producing oil, he will then control the worlds oil supply…Oil is money. Money is world domination. That is what he wants to achieve.”

Wentworth stood up, thanked Susie and turned to Peggy and I.

“Now, this is where you both come in.”

Izzy at MI6

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Originally published at on January 4, 2016.