The “Don’ts” of successful coffee chats
So we’ve both made contact through the 10K coffees site and we finally taken the time to create an appointment.
You need to focus and prepare to both give and receive information to your coffee partner. The following five points should be avoided if you would like to have a successful coffee chat.
Don’t be late
Once that commitment is set, you owe it to yourself and your coffee partner to at least turn up at the location and on time. Everyone is busy and occasionally overloaded with tasks.
But we all have cellphones or smartphones as well.
So be a good professional and make sure you are a few minutes early for the appointment, and if you do expect to be delayed then call or text your coffee partner in advance. This will be appreciated as a positive courtesy. The worse thing to do is to simply not turn up, because you will be wasting your coffee partners valuable time and possibly negatively impacting your own reputation.
Don’t have awkward motives
I once had a coffee chat, which my partner wrongly assumed would be a job interview.
On another occasion my coffee date (female) was very obviously considering the chat to be a date.
So keep things professional and avoid having such awkward motives.
Don’t try to embarrass your coffee partner, and stay correct until you have at least established rapport. The point of the coffee chat is simply to have an exchange of information at low risk.
Don’t be too relaxed
I had a chat last year where my new coffee partner walked in, kissed me on both cheeks, took off his shoes and walked barefooted to the coffee counter to order his flat-white. This was someone that I had never met in person before, and although I can be rather laid back, this start shocked me. Later during the chat, the partner simply reached across the table and bit into my lemon loaf cake, without asking. He was way too relaxed about everything. My tip would be to make no assumptions about anyone until they tell you.
Don’t be too nervous
Some coffee partners are highly introverted or simply nervous. Nerves can be overcome by being well prepared for the meeting, and having a short list of icebreaker questions. These could be questions about the weather, the coffee, the café, the location or local sport. An attitude of asking for useful information always goes down well. Try to look your partner in the eye, and realize that this meeting is a coffee meeting and not a job interview. If there is a strong rapport, this may bode well for your future.
An alternative is to actually tell your partner that you are nervous and request for them to take that into account. Such information will be well received.
Don’t stalk your partner
By all means, look up your coffee partners details via the information provided on the 10K Coffees site. But absolutely do not memorize their positions and dates. Do not stalk them on social media, especially since you will be speaking to them face to face during the actual coffee meeting.
