A letter to myself

Hello my love,

I know you are in pain but you won’t admit it. You tell everyone that you’re okay but deep inside you’re not. Your mask does not slip easily but sometimes the cracks are as bright as daylight.

He didn’t hurt you. He was being honest and you didn’t like his answer. That’s your problem, not his. But here’s the thing: you deserve better. Right now, it feels like you won’t ever have the simple pleasure of being with anyone again but that is not true. You will be with people and see the good, the bad and the mundane. You will touch them, feel their skin on yours, talk to them and make promises, some of which you will keep. But he is not the end. You are enough and if someone wants to be with you, they will be. It is actually just that simple.

Keep moving and doing what you love. Spread the kindness around you in droves, not sprinkles. You need to understand what solitude feels like, how heavy it can weigh, how it transforms into loneliness because only then can you get an accurate measure of yourself. We are all alone but love is what saves us. A thousand loves, a million loves. Give your love freely and generously, practice kindness and above all, be yourself.

I will be right here for you. You can count on that if everything else fails.