Its really unsettling to me that anyone is willing to submit their own judgement to somebody else. I am trying to pin this whole idea down, where does it come from, why do we now feel that this is appropriate, even good. I don’t say things just for shock and offense, I have a purpose. The whole reason why I use a cuckold analogy in my original response is because it is apropos to the situation.
Why is it that because someone claims to be oppressed, we automatically have to surrender aspects of our own individuality to them. Help them, yes. Give them shelter, sure. Try not to hurt them, okay. But, now we are bordering on some sort of identity immolation. Sorry, but anyone who offers even the slightest aspect of their own identity up as a sacrifice to somebody else’s supposed aggrieved status has a mental disorder of some kind and I guess since I discovered it, I get to name it. It shall be called Identity Deferral Syndrome or IDS for short.
IDS has a cousin syndrome. Some people seem to thrive on claiming their aggrieved status and make it part of their whole identity. Now, look, I don’t care if you are a man who wants to be a woman, but if you are constantly going on about how aggrieved your people are, well, I’m sorry, thats not my fault and I am not necessarily responsible for helping you fix it either. Maybe if certain people just went on with their lives, rather than constantly crying about every little perceived slight, maybe, just maybe, they can have some real joy in their lives, but that does not suit them. Their identities, their entire personality is tightly intertwined with their grievances and their need to constantly point out every single little grievance. They tilt at these windmills because they will lose a critical part of their identity if the stop doing it. And when there are no windmills left to slay, their subconscious will come to their identities rescue and start finding them in the way a word is pronounced, the color of a birthday card, the fucking way a toy store advertises Tonka and Barbie. They do not defer a piece of their identity, they demand that others defer to theirs. Since I discovered this syndrome, I shall call it, Identity Collapse Syndrome since the persons main effort involves the fear that their identity will collapse if their aggrieved status is not properly upheld, acknowledged and given proper homage in the form of identity sacrifice on the part of others around them.
So, the folks with IDS are in a symbiotic relationship with the people who have ICS. Without ICS people, IDS people would have no way to surrender pieces of their identity, these self hating people would not be able to properly manage their self hate. Without the IDS people, the ICS people would not have a captive audience to shout out their latest spell of oppression and when or if they did, nobody would come running to tell them what they want to hear and offer up a proper sacrifice to appease their tantrum god.
Are some people legitimately oppressed? Sure. All the time? No. When you dont get a job, its not because you are gay or black or trans or whatever, its because life is complicated. There are billions of variables that influence the outcomes of your life. There are billions of people, with trillions of different opinions, personality quarks, flaws, strengths, skills, dependancies, addictions, needs, wants, desires, lusts. Nobody is really out to get you, hell, almost 99.99999999% of the world doesn’t even fucking know you. What I am trying to say here is that perhaps a lot of what people take as offensive is in their head, their insecurities, ineptitudes, fears, needs and psychological dispositions influence whether or not they will be offended, and if your identity hinges on being oppressed, well, your brain will find the drug you seek.
I’m NOT about to try and untangle the mess in everyones head. I know what I should and should not say for most part, but saying something that offends another person, does not mean I do not respect them, it does not make one an instant bigot. If I tell a black joke to a black dude, its to have joy and share it with that other person, not to make sure they are kept down by whitey. If they tell me that the joke is offensive, well, I guess I lost respect for them, I thought they were cooler than that and I was wrong. Have a nice life, I will probably never speak to you again.
If you want to have a true and honest diversity, then you cannot create an environment where one person has to always defer to the other on certain things. It creates animosity. You KNOW it creates animosity, because you fucking came out and said as much. What is it you think that feeling is? Is it not a form of animosity? No, all relationships are made better when both parties are on equal footing. You can experience much more diversity when the people around you are free and unafraid to be who they are. If you have to sequester parts of your personality, then you are not only hurting your own individuality, you are preventing others from having any kind of meaningful and joyful experience. Their experience of you will not be one of diversity, it will be sterilized and dull and your head will hurt with animosity so, that wont help the relationship any either.
