Eight — January 2015

Miss Taurus–(her name is actually Melissa) was the first girl to really try and get to know me, I was VERY wary of her to begin because she reminds me of this chick in Manhattan who’s a bitch, runs very hot and cold and I kind of see that with her but much less extreme, I can tell she’s genuine when she talks and doesn’t seem to dislike me the way some of the girls do (I don’t want this to come across as ‘woe as me’ I’m just being honest). Upon first meeting her she called me over on the banquet and asked in French what size my tits are (we are one of the only chicks there with small tits, B-A), then she wants to know if my hair is naturally blonde and if my eyes are in fact are blue. Lololol fucking hell these girls, so fucking out there. She speaks some english, however she’s good friends with Miss Translator and she would help us out in conversation. The more we talked the more I liked her, she’s cool. She’ll make fun of me a bit, like mimic my facial expressions but then I’ll call her a fucking bitch or something in English and loud and then we both laugh. Its all in good fun, so I don’t mind. She’s into astrology as well, knows her shit. Obviously she’s a Taurus and explained she knows she’s stubborn and upon finding I’m a Cancer she goes “ooooh very passionate” which is true, so yeah, plus one in my book. She offered to grab pot for me and I turned her down, I’m just trying to do my own thing right now without any influences, I smoke too much fucking weed, need to calm down with that shit.

Miss Translator–Nicest girl in the joint, first person I met as well, she was in the room when I was interviewed. She has a great understanding of English but born in France…or maybe it was Kenya, yeah Kenya but she’s lived here almost all her life. Both of us tend to keep to ourselves unless someone comes up and starts a conversation, she asked me to eat with her last night which I thought was sweet. She’s got a hot body, BIG boobs with these tiny little nipples, dances really well, knows her tricks on the pole. She usually wears these tight little leather shorts that look difficult to remove but she does a damn good job of it. I feel most comfortable with her, she’s just chill, no agenda. She’ll talk to me in French as well which I appreciate, if I get a little lost she’s happy to translate so yeah, I like her best. One night I asked her in French what the time was and she responded I was a little bit confused (only because they go by the military time the 13–23 hours and that always confuses me, even in English), she then asked me to repeat it back to her in english and I guessed and got it right! Her face lit up and she congratulated me like a prized student, sweet fucking girl, I really like her.

Miss Selfie–She’s a trip, originally from Dominican Republic and married, she’s the only other blonde there (but fake :p) and didn’t talk to me at all for my first few shifts, however one night she cornered me in the bathroom and wanted to take picture after picture, then video after video, then more pictures with her. We were in there for awhile, she kept snapping away going ‘top model!! do top model!!!’ (I felt kind of stupid and looked washed out next to this fully made up Spanish chick but whatever, pretty sure she sent them all to her thousands of admirers on facebook) then asked for my facebook; she’s a model and a singer. Since that encounter she’s been very sweet to me. She dances BEAUTIFULLY and on a slow night I asked her to show me how she swings a certain way on the pole, she led me to the stage and sat there with me till I got the hang of it (NOT EASY, I’ve literally woke up with a new muscle in my arm, it tense as hell and sore as fuck), she showed me over and over and made me do it a million times. Her little tutorial was so effective that the other girls came up and we had a little impromptu training session which was really fun. That night it was a good group of nice girls (save for Miss Bitch) and we had a lot of fun together, cheering the other on when we worked out how to do something. Later that night Miss Selfie invited me to come to her house in the DR where I ‘would make a lot of money’ lol, probably not but something to think about. Its her birthday today, Aquarius. That breed seems to flock to me, interesting people.

Miss Hotmess–is so fucking funny/sweet/random haha, she’s actually got a hooked nose which means she’s capable of some sneaky, sneaaaaky shit but I don’t get anything from her but innocence at the moment (I think she’s pretty young). She came in for her first shift with Miss Pregnant whom I believe is her sister. She dresses awful, the most unflattering, most clichè stripping outfits you can think of. She has short, fried hair that sticks out at weird angles that she keeps it in one of those old school claws (this one being bright white) that she just throws in the middle of her hair, makes it look like a rats nest. She changes her outfits constantly, I’ve seen three outfits in a single night from her; easily the worst dancer in the club (fuck I’m such a bitch, I’M TRYING TO RELAY THE FACTS lolol), she just doesn’t move with the music in any sense of the word. She tries sooooooooo hard though and its endearing as fuck, she does smile a lot and you can tell she’s having her own personal ball. The other girls tend to laugh at her when she performs and I yell ‘Arretè!!’ which means stop because no one wants to be laughed at in that situation. When she’s done she’s beaming like I do and then asks for opinions from the rest of the girls. Lolol I think she might be a tad slow because she does things that are just so out there and weird. That time we we all were practicing together, she swong on the pole and knocked Miss Bitch clear off the stage. Fuck I almost died laughing, she fell onto a table and then to the floor. NOT EVEN two minutes later a girl had JUST gotten off the pole and she flings herself onto it, kicking the girls thigh in the process, Miss Bitch reprimanded her hard for that but she just didn’t seem to care, like she barely noticed haha. Must be nice not to give a shit.

Miss Pregnant–looks pregnant and usually is lying down in a corner somewhere looking miserable :/ I think she’s very experienced because she dances really well but she looks so un-into it right now, leaves early a lot. She doesn’t talk much but she’s always very nice to me, perfectly polite and speaks English as well.

Miss Russian Sisters–may be twins as do everything together. Both are stunning, very tall, could easily be six foot with these flawless bodies, they work the pole PERFECTLY with all these insane moves, can climb it all the way to the top and slide back upside down. Sexy as hell, its a fucking production they put on. They both wear their hair in high beautiful buns and wear nothing but a bra and panties (the first night I worked I was told to wear that but soon found out I was the only one (save for them) who dressed in only that, most of the girls wear dresses, or some type of sexy outfit and strip on stage. Now I wear panties/bra and some type of top, usually a lace zip up). They talk to almost no one but each other and keep their little dog in the back room, the dog is soooooooo sweet and loves attention.

Thats the gist of everyone, overall I’m happy and want to keep my job–I just have to work on a thicker skin. That dream last night threw me for a loop, I’m feeling threatened, as though ‘under attack’ ( dreammoods.com !!!) and fuck it feels that way sometimes there. They had this meeting that was only spoken in french and I understood almost nothing. I know I was underpaid by about forty euros last night and I didn’t say anything purely because I was relieved I wasn’t fired. I have a complete newfound respect for immigrants, its not easy going to a country where you can’t understand the majority of the language and have to rely on a job thats illegal to have in the first place. I keep picturing cops breaking down the doors and carting me away, or Miss Cunt alerting the authorities over me….or shoving me down the stairs or something. My imagination really does go wild but its an abosolute po — –fuck I’m smelling Grey right now, cry :( — — — possibility. I can stay in France for up to three months, checked it out online. Will go somewhere else once thats up (April 25th) as I would get in big trouble if I stay longer then that. Funnily enough my time here coincides perfectly with Penny’s expected delivery date. We’re talking now, she’s interested in my being here (one thing we can relate over, travel) I’m never going to mention that little whore comment to her. It hurts but I know I’m more then that, she doesn’t have to understand. Taurus’s think their opinion is the only one that matters, so whatever, she’s been hardheaded and A FUCKING PRUDE all her life. Now that she’s pregnant she’s all Mother Theresa, enjoy sweetheart, I’m looking forward to meeting my niece/nephew and praying to god he/she doesn’t turn out like you.

I hate to even mention this but Grey has been emailing me a lot, he’s mentioned MULTIPLE times that school ends for him on March 14th and wants me to come and live with him then. Internally I’m so down, I’m SO down but other parts of me are like ‘he could do the same thing again and dash the fuck out of your hopes’, I’m keeping it all open, not giving him any definite answer, I’ve got a long way to go/survive until then but yeah, I want to.. as much as I don’t like to say it. I really can’t help how I feel about him (which bothers me) but I want take anything he wants to give me. Thats how I feel, Gods help me.

I need to eat something, then I’m taking a long walk around the Eiffel tower, taking myself out for Indian, will be writing all night.