Sixteen

Another dream I remembered, no sign of Christian eitherrrrrr :) :) :)

I know it was a long, drawn out dream but the only part I remember is my walking out onto a baseball field with a bat in my hand. The pitcher (and I think the whole team) hated me and the dude wails the ball and grazes my cheek. I didn’t give a shit though, because I knew when he pitched properly I was going to slam a homerun.

Then I woke up

I’m going to try out for Survior too, fuck it. Penny was lecturing me on how I should try out for the show, she thinks I’m perfect for it. I wanted to back when I first started watching with Dad. I remember looking it up on our ancient computer and I had to print out this ten page application and mail it in haha. I got this little sign watching it the other day and decided to look it up again, now all you have to do is make a three minute video of yourself, fill out a short questionaire and write a seventy word bio. OR take the train to Philly and attend the open call on the 15th.

WHY THE FUCK NOT?!
Look for me on your televisions folks

Dad was all ‘you can’t do it’ right away haha, thanks!!! He’s worried about his vegan daughter, Aurora had a similar reaction. And yeah I thought about that too, of course I’ll be eating as much plantbased things as possible, but hunting and eating fish because I’m starving on a remote island? Competing for a million dollars!!! I’m cool with that. Its only for forty days, would be an incredible experience (the main reason I’m down). THey’re shooting in the Phillipines this April. I told Alexander though and he was quiet for a second, then he goes ‘No lies, I can totally see you pulling it off’ THANK YOU FOR SOME CONFIDENCE IN ME.

I think I’m trying to do anything to keep me going, grasping at anything I’m interested in, hoping it’ll work out for me. Thursday seems like years away.

I STILL DON’T HAVE BUD
Dad pulled out another ash reserve, this shit is just old resin though and its not super pleasant to smoke, I’ve had worse though. 
His dealer swears up and down its arriving today, if you hear about the girl that attacks him on the news, you can be sure its me and that I still don’t have anything fresh

I’m going to bed so early, last night was before eleven.

JUST WANT TO BE IN THE CITY

Jason wanted to hang this weekend, he’s back for Chanukah, I told him that waking up at dawn to sit on his balcony isn’t happening, that I’ll be in the city later this week and it’ll be easier to hang that way. He’s excited I’m coming back to the city. I am tooooooooooo

I figured I’d wait a bit before I write the club, I showed up Wednesday afternoon, its only been two and a half days and they already said I had the job!!! Fucking gods forbid but if they decide they don’t want me I’ll move anyway and dance somewhere else. I’m hating Long Island more and more with every hour

OH MY FUCKING GODS
Mara from the water store just picked up and is willing to sell to meeeeeeee :D :D :D :D :D :D SHe goes ‘how much do you need? and I go ‘As much as you’re willing to sell me, name your price’ THANK YOU GORGEOUS

I saw her last night when I was grabbing water, she was drunk and hilarious. She’s bi. Haha It was only me and another worker in the store with her while she’s skipping all around grabbing things before she leaves, as she exits she goes ‘see you girls in my dreams!’ haha I start giggling as she walks away but then she turns around and goes ‘oh yeah, I mean it!!!!!’ lolololololol love her. Her girlfriend has been upstate with her family for the past two weeks, she misses her ❤

HAHAHA I’m messaging with my Mom and telling her about moving into the city, we’re going back and fourth and I told her to visit me, and to ‘bring her drinking pants’, to which she goes ‘whats drinking pants?’ lolololololol xo