Thirteen — January 2015

SO fucking stoned right now, off the tiniest spliff mixed with (additive free) tobacco :D
Jesus Christ I’m excited to explain how it all happened as it was the LONGEST FUCKING PROCESS OF MY LIFE
Such a fucking pothead, if anything I proved that today

Dreamt last night :) I don’t remember a whole lot but I was in this gorgeous field I’ve dreamt of before, woods on the edges which is interesting because in ‘Mathildè and Crier’ I have them either in the woods or on the outskirts of them a lot of the time. I have them traveling West because its freezing in Manhattan, I don’t know shit about the geography of America (boring as fuck, except maybe the Colorado mountains (that I would like to see, hike the Appalachian trail) and the Grand Canyon, which Mom forced us all to go to RIGHT before Dad left her, she said she went as a kid and fell in love with it; none of us wanted to go save for her and it was probably the best family vacation we’ve ever had, that place is magical, and we all were happy for about a week which was a rarity at that point in our little family history….Hawaii too, but damn I don’t think it should be a part of America, you know….fuck I think it was Reagan, he captured the Hawaiian queen and kept her locked up till she signed over her country to us; fucking bullshit; I’m not proud of anything America stands for) ANYWAY I’m in this gorgeous field, Ginny and her ex best friend (the pregnant Taurus one who’s delusional about her relationship) are sitting, playing some type of game. I raise my hand like she’s my teacher and wait awhile before she actually allows me to speak that little cunt. I’m reading this kids book that Penny wrote and in it she refers to me and Ginny with awful names, like Agatha and Bern or something; we had a last name that started with an ‘L’ as well. Thats all I remember, random as fuck.

So yeah I wake up and realize I’ve got about three hours before room cleaning dude comes by, I’m bullshitting online for about an hour when he knocks on my door, haha I had actually covered myself with the face/vagina mask I put together (clay, coconut oil, tea tree oil, cinnamon) and had slept in it so I had to answer the door with this brown shit all over my face, HE DIDN’T EVEN BAT AN EYELASH hahaha was ready to leave with me then… almost two hours early haha. I hop in the shower, make myself presentable–though really I looked like shit, yet to wash my hair and coconut oil was making my face all shiny when we left. He asks me to go before him so that his employers don’t know he’s chilling with a guest haha. He made me wait like fifteen minutes before he strolls out of the hotel and off we go.

He’s really fucking sweet/kind of deluded. He’s good looking as well, I was the teenisist bit attracted to him throughout our fucking twelve hour ordeal today, well more like eight hours; but really a lot of that had to do with him getting me bud. He’s a Capricorn which is good, definitely a hard worker, youngest child of four brothers that he strongly dislikes. He was born in Paris, likes his parents, likes to eat chicken and fish, Indian food. We got on the metro and he bought my ticket there and back, he JUST turned 22 and so it felt odd, of course I tried to force my cash on him but he got very offended; he knows I have a ‘boyfriend’ but was happy to ask about him as his pupils were dilated as fuck (attraction!). He thinks its crazy that I’m traveling by myself, and that I don’t miss my family or want a friend going along with me. He speaks small amounts of English so the whole time we’re talking its in broken french/english; I’m proud of it though, he was surprised at how much I know (dude I know I have so long to go but I think I’m doing well, stripping with the girls/clients helps). I’ve actually had two french people exclaim how SHOCKED they were with my being from America. The other day I spoke to two separate men, both shopkeepers and I’m asking things in french, when it got too complicated and I asked if they knew English (in french) they were blown away I wasn’t french, not exaggerating, these two dudes that I’m thinking of were FLABBERGASTED which made my day.

Haha hello ever prolonging tangents in my writing, I have missed youuuuuuuuu xo xo xo xo xo

PS The dudes name is Raj, I think–haha thats whats on his facebook so its a good indicator. He’s a little charmer for sure, he dresses well, as well. Smart little shirt with nice jeans, cool sneakers — he walks with a little swagger, not gangster just, confident. He’s a bit shorter then me but really acts like he’s the shit in the best possible way. He’s got it going on in his own little way.

We’re on the subway, chatting; I know he lives very far from where the hotel is so I was making a point to remember exactly where we were going/how to get back. It took me a LONG time to understand Manhattan’s subway system and that shit is the easiest thing in the world (having lived there for six plus years, I can finally say I don’t ever have issues using it anymore; I do prefer to walk though and had been using that as my primary way of transportation when living there; I do love how small the city is. Its a whole day trip in London or Paris if you’re walking to major destinations). So we get to where we need to be, maybe a half hour away from the hotel on the underground, its a Asian/Indian type of neighborhood and I thought thats where we were picking up the bud. We start walking around and he’s GUNG HO about taking me out to lunch, he actually showed up at my room much earlier that morning (to clean it haha, I am not going to feel comfortable about handing him my dirty towels anymore) to find me sleeping (passed out early last night, chilled writing/reading and shit) and he brought me an apple and two yogurts because he thought I’d be hungry and not have time to eat before we left haha, so fucking sweet, I kept putting him off, didn’t want him to spend anymore cash on me. All I wanted was my bud and to bounce directly after. We walked in circles around that ENTIRE neighborhood SEVERAL times, he’s stopping and calling his friend, rapid fire french and I have no clue what he’s saying (for the majority), I talked to his friend twice as he wanted to speak to me about exactly what I wanted (he wanted a picture of me beforehand as well, I guess to identify me?); he used the euphemism ‘food’ to describe the pot and it was pretty fucking hilarious going along with it because he doesn’t speak great english either, he goes

What kind of food do you want?
 — Well forty euros worth of vegetables would be great (forever the fucking vegan haha) 
What kinds of vegetables?! (lolol)
 — Uhm carrots and beetroot would be nice….potatoes maybe
Do you want the food in a can…or just regular?
 — (hahahaha) ‘Uhmmmmmm regular should be good’
What I mean is…do you need it prepared first?
 — No, its all good, thanks

Too fucking much dude, couldn’t stop laughing afterwards.

We continue to tour the neighborhood, had no idea what the fuck was going on, I thought the dude was just running late, almost every store we passed though Raj is pushing me inside, trying to buy me vegetables to take home (at one point were in this food dollar store and he’s asking the owners all these questions, finally he leads me to this aisle that is pure canned vegetables most likely produced before I was born, lolololol wanted me to pick out a soup or something hahhaahahahhahahahahha, I wheeled his ass out of there quick), pointing out restaurants we could eat at, asking what I like to eat, haha after describing that I’m a vegan and the type of foods I like to eat, he said in english I eat like an ‘old man’ hahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahhahahaha. All this carried on for over a fucking hour no joke; so finally I go “well it doesn’t look like I have a choice, lets just go in here”. We’re sitting in this shitty little restaurant he said he liked and ate at often, we sit in the back and I order the cheapest thing on the menu, onion bajee….they are out of onion bajee, we get legume bajee, and he orders two of them. They serve us the nastiest fried eggplant I’ve ever had, thick bright yellow bread encasing this thin as fuck eggplant. I literally got up and grabbed the ketchup off the wall and smothered it in it. I don’t think he liked it either as he gave me one of his (out of four lol) but we both deemed it ‘très bien’. Afterwards he wants me to eat dessert, I’m like nooooooooo lets gooooooooooo haha, he gets up and comes back with this type of cake, I didn’t want to try it but he was so persistent and promised it was vegan… I did just to shut him up…damn, once again I’m impressed, it was like NOTHING I’ve ever had, kind of like a spongecake but citrusey and lighter. Very tasty and we shared the slice like high school lovers. After we ate we sat there for almost a half an hour, not even talking very much, just sitting and making broken conversation with long pauses in between; finally I ask him when (THE FUCK) is his friend coming and he goes right away ‘WHY?!’ lolol, I’m just like ‘aren’t we meeting him somewhere?!’ We get up and he doesn’t let me pay the five fucking euros it cost to eat there.

We get back on the subway and literally travel straight back to where we started, about five minutes from the hotel. I’m thinking ‘well he certainly did his best to snag the most time out of me, thats kind of sweet’ but once he walks me out of the subway he says ‘Well Melissa it was really fun hanging out with you today, I’ll see you tomorrow….’ and I think my face turned fucking evil on him because he looked scared as fuck when I said ‘DUDE weren’t we buying bud today?!?!?!?!?!?“ I was PISSED at that moment (yes hello drug addicted girl, I knew the nonsmoking wouldn’t last long), I’m thinking if he carted me around ALL DAY on my DAY OFF and is not GETTING MY BUD we are going to have a legitimate issue. All of a sudden he’s like ‘marijuana?! I don’t understand” hands me his phone and says to write it down so he can image search it on google, I used the word marijuana the way MissTaurus described it (accent and everything). I’m thinking, ‘we talked to his fucking friend about the food…wait, were they really talking about actual food?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!?’ me and Raj talked AT LENGTH about pot, using google translate and everything THE DAY BEFORE. He told me it was dangerous to get and everything, it was fucking odd the entire situation and I had NO IDEA where his head was. At this point its FREEZING on the street, getting dark, we go and sit at a bus stop and he’s frantically trying to call his….other drug dealer? I don’t know dude, I have no clue but he’s making calls, I’m shivering, he wants to take me to a cafè so I’m not fucking freezing (he goes ‘don’t you wear pants?!’ lolol no I don’t, leggings for lifeee) I’m down with that lets gooooooooooo, call your friennnnnnnds, I’m not ending this day without my shit AS I’VE BEEN COUNTING DOWN THE MINUTES SINCE WE CONFIRMED ALL THIS YESTERDAY MORNING.

I’m starving right now, I was hungry before but ooooh deja vu :) Yeah let me eat and then I’ll finish round two trekking into the depths of Paris.