Yes I think this image needs shattering. Other than college romances, the reality just isn’t there. During my actively looking/online dating periods I probably averaged about 75 first dates a year (over 3 years)? This is after hundreds of messaging chaos. And like you I’ve only ever received one reply to “I don’t think this will work out” that wasn’t “thank you”.

One longer relationship resulted and maybe four of those quasi whatisthis intense datings that blow up suddenly.

And then boom: yes. Yes. Yes.

Personally I had difficulty in identifying my deal breakers till the very end of my dating saga. I tended towards giving people too much of a chance. By the end I was very clear and very unapologetic about anything. In my experience, it’s helped to tell my girlfriends this was my attitude as well.