
If Deirdre’s daughter didn’t make it, this is what I would want to tell her: that grief is exactly as painful as you think it will be, but with time you will learn to love your sadness because of the tiny shoots of joy and gratitude that sprout around it, like new growth on scorched earth.
For many chronically lonely people … the problem seems to be this: no matter what their social surroundings might be — whether or not they are constantly surrounded by caring and thoughtful friends and family — they still feel lonely. They harbour an expectation of attachment so strong that it can never be realized. No subsequent change in their social surroundings will be able to solve their loneliness problem.